Quotes About Toilet Paper

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Quotes About Toilet Paper

You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? Youd think this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!
— Eddie Izzard —

If we all had what we wanted to eat ... We'd have inflation in the toilet paper industry.

— Jim Thompson

Seriously, she'd been tricked into bringing him toilet paper on the crapper too many times not to know he was a little shortsighted.

— Debra Anastasia

I'm a writer who stacks cat food for a living. It's true: I have a master's degree in creative writing, I've published two critically successful books, and I get paid to replenish the shelves of my local food co-op with pet food, sponges and toilet paper. Nine days out of 10, I do it quite happily.

— Ali Liebegott

As with marathon runs and lengths of toilet paper, there had to be standards to measure up to.

— Haruki Murakami

You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it's some weird coloured embossed stuff.

— Captain Beefheart

I don't think many people understand what racism is. The intellectuals use it like toilet paper; it's something they can use. It's not something they live.

— Mark Fuhrman

If loyalty was toilet paper ... we'd be hard-pressed to wipe our asses, old buddy.

— Stephen King

I killed four flies while waiting. Damn, death was everywhere. Man, bird, beast, reptile, rodent, insect, fish didn't have a chance. The fix was in. I didn't know what to do about it. I got depressed. You know, I see a boy at the supermarket, he's packing my groceries, then I see him sticking himself into his own grave along with the toilet paper, the beer and the chicken breasts.

— Charles Bukowski

As long as you have sufficient toilet paper, how far wrong can life go?

— Sue Grafton

It's expensive to keep communism alive today. I've already got a huge foreign debt staring me in the face, and I can't reduce it by exporting tomatoes or toilet paper. We should be making dollars any way we can. And we should be exporting arms any way and every way, openly and secretly, legally or by smuggling, I don't care how.

— Nicolae Ceausescu

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