Quotes About Spongebob

“What, you didn't pack your lunch?" Ty asked sarcastically as he
shifted around in the seat and wedged himself against the door. He kicked a
foot up and propped it on the console between the two front seats.
"Sure, in my SpongeBob SquarePants lunch box. I have the thermos,
too," Morrison shot right back.
Zane kept his mouth shut, eyes moving between the two men, and
occasionally back to the driver, who was casually paying attention.
Ty stared at the kid and narrowed his eyes further. "Spongewhat?" he
asked flatly.
Zane didn't even try to hold back the chuckle when Morrison looked
at Ty like he'd lost his mind.
"Spongewha ... you're yanking my chain, aren't you?" Morrison
said. "Henny, he's yanking my chain."
"Yeah, well, that's what you getting for waving it in his face," the
driver answered reasonably.
"What the hell is a SpongeBob?" Ty asked Zane quietly in the
backseat.”

— Madeleine Urban

“[Reverend James] Dobson says that the [Spongebob Squarepants] video would be watched by millions of elementary school students and includes a reference to being 'tolerant of differences.' The nerve! Who does Spongebob think he is? Jesus Christ? Tolerance will not be, uh, tolerated. Oh, and tolerance is quite possibly closesly connected to gay-ance.”

— Celia Rivenbark

“The boulevard was awash with the curious and the shocked as wave after wave of tourist crashed into the unmoving masses of families who had just witnessed a brawl between The Incredible Hulk and SpongeBob Squarepants over territory, boundaries and the age old issue of ownership.”

— David Louden

“Who lives in a pineapple under your jeans?" He sang softly. "SpongeBob booty pants!" He ended his little song with a soft slap to my rear.”

— L.D. Davis

“Elves, pixies, gnomes- the Moomins, Chorlton and the Wheelies, SpongeBob SquarePants- they all tried to invade you at some point.”

— Jacqueline Rayner

“In fact, gone are the days of having sex at all. I have resorted to jerking off alone in the bathroom after my wife's asleep. It's a sad, lonely existence when you have to take your cell phone into the shitter so you don't wake your wife when you pull up the YouPorn app and crank one out. The worst part is the SpongeBob SquarePants shower curtain in the bathroom. Do you know how difficult it is to keep an erection while SpongeBob is staring at you with his big, googly eyes and you keep hearing the song "Jellyfishin', Jellyfishin', Jellyfishin" in your head?”

— Tara Sivec

“The claim that SpongeBob makes your child dumber is a causal claim. If you do X, Y will happen. To prove that, you'd have to show that if you forced the children in the no-TV households to watch SpongeBob and changed nothing else about their lives, they would do worse in school.”

— Emily Oster

“I have someone else clean my house so that it will actually get cleaned, and I let kids in my house survive on Peeps and 'SpongeBob.'”

— Julia London

“Cartoons are the best stuff on TV. 'Wonder Showzen,' 'Aqua Teen,' 'SpongeBob,' and, of course, 'South Park' - one of the funniest shows ever made.”

— Akiva Schaffer

“What the hell is a SpongeBob?”

— Madeleine Urban

“Whenever I'm sad, I just put on 'SpongeBob' and I cheer up.”

— Richard Harmon

“How about that? You can hear NFL Films music on everything from 'SpongeBob SquarePants' to 'Deep Throat.'”

— Steve Sabol

“I used to have costumed characters come out, like SpongeBob. It's just fun to make it into this minor event, just to surprise people and experiment and be weird and just have fun with it. I've done just the hour stand-up, and that's fun, but the other stuff makes it fun for me and gives me something to react to and bounce off of.”

— Hannibal Buress

“I connect to SpongeBob in a way; like, that's the homie. He can chill on the corner with me.”

— Theophilus London

“I just finished an episode of a new show called 'Century City.' It's like 'Law & Order' set in the future, and I have a very dramatic role in that. I have to sob and weep and wail. It was very hard. When it was done, I was like, 'OK, time to watch 'SpongeBob!'”

— Cayden Boyd

“They'd rather see Scooby Doo or Spongebob than Daddy talking about the latest Wall Street Journal editorial. You do what you have to do to get your kids ready for school.”

— Joe Scarborough

“In case you haven't caught the commercials, I'm in the new SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.”

— David Hasselhoff

“'SpongeBob SquarePants' is a great show, and it centers on a character that is courageously nice. Why is SpongeBob interesting? It's because he has passion. He has a passion for chasing jellyfish.”

— Vince Gilligan

“I do like a lot of things that a lot of adults would scoff at. 'SpongeBob SquarePants,' 'Looney Tunes.'”

— R.L. Stine

“Patrick: I'm mad. SpongeBob: What's the matter, Patrick? Patrick: I can't see my forehead.”

— Ann Brashares

“Matt Leinart's L.A. duplex looks more like a Chuck E. Cheese safe house than a millionaire jock's crash pad. There's the requisite leather couch and flat-screen television, but the rest of the ground floor is bare except for a pile of Nick Jr. DVDs, a high chair, and a SpongeBob SquarePants director's chair.”

— Stephen Rodrick

“I'd rather watch SpongeBob with with Kimmy than talk to you. At least that stupid yellow sponge tries to make sense.”

— Lora Leigh

“I mean, who cares about SpongeBob SquarePants? I'm sitting here with Wolverine!
-random kid talking to Ari”

— James Patterson

“Do you ever have dirty thoughts about spongebob?”

— James Patterson

“Did I mention he was wearing a onesie? I'm talking a legit, full-grown man in a SpongeBob onesie.”

— Colleen Hoover

“It's amazing how a strip of sticky plastic will make my kids' pain vanish. Lucas will be howling about a stepped-on finger, but as soon as the SpongeBob Band-Aid touches his pinkie, he's all smiles. My sons are so convinced of the magical healing powers of Band-Aids, they think they can solve almost any problem. A couple of years ago, when out Sony TV blew a fuse, Jasper stuck a Band-Aid on the screen hoping to revive it.”

— A.J. Jacobs

“Unfortunately most easily-digested entertainment has as much actual content as a Spongebob Squarepants episode, so the trick is to try to fit actual nourishing content into enjoyable entertainment.”

— Jeffrey Lewis

“SpongeBob is a good role model as far as imaginary creatures go. He works hard and his emotional highs are very high, he's either giddy or utterly devastating and crying like a lawnsprinkler ... SpongeBob is bipolar.”

— Tom Kenny

“I watch a lot of cartoons. I watch a lot of "SpongeBob SquarePants" and "Phineas and Ferb."”

— Colin Kaepernick

“From SpongeBob to Finding Nemo ... I'm still trying to decide which one I like more.”

— Kevin Federline

“Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.”

— Stephen Colbert

“Yes I usually make my kids eat their veggie chops and watch my concerts in dead silence. If they ask to watch spongebob squarepants I usually do something volatile like make them eat a yellow sponge with googly eyes on it. I hit them quite a bit, but then again I blame the condom manufacturing government for forcing me to birth them.”

— Thom Yorke

“The first ads for medical marijuana have started airing on television in California. The ads are quite expensive. It costs a lot of money to buy 30 seconds during 'Spongebob Squarepants.'”

— Craig Ferguson