Quotes About Peeing

“Friday morning, Kylie, Miranda, and Della, each carting suitcases, walked
the trail to meet up with their parents. They walked slowly, like condemned prisoners moving to their executions.
"I'm going to be peeing on a drug test stick every hour," Della
muttered.
Miranda sighed. "I'm going to screw up at my competition and my
mom is going to give me up for adoption."
"I'm going to a ghost hunt," Kylie added. Both girls looked at her.
"Don't ask.”

— C.C. Hunter

“Okay, guys. Stop it. Are you going to start peeing on me to mark your territory?”

— Maegan Lynn Moores

“Why do you always come in to kiss me while I'm on the toilet?" I asked.
"Makes us feel close to you," Chuck said, surprised I would ask. "Peeing is one of the special things we share.”

— Merrill Markoe

“Well, there's two kinds of peeing ... There's regular peeing, because you have to pee. And then there's auxiliary competitive peeing. For acquiring empire. I'm all about the real estate.”

— Merrill Markoe

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.”

— Robert Bloch

“I saw a bear once. I was peeing then, too.”

— Kirsty McKay

“Killing demons is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Annr, guard, Zearlach city.”

— Taylor Grace

“I'm done peeing now."
"Thank you for letting me know.”

— Jessica Park

“A dingy emblem on the door depicted a little boy peeing into a pot. The rest of the bar was equally drab and tasteless. Dim bulbs behind red-tasseled lamp shades barely illuminated each of a dozen maroon vinyl booths, which marched along one wall toward the murky front windows. Chipped Formica tables anchored the booths in place. Opposite the row of booths was a long, scarred wooden bar with uncomfortable-looking stools. Behind the bar, sitting on glass shelves in front of a cloudy mirror, were endless rows of bottles, each looking as forlorn as the folks for whom they waited.
He caught the strong odors of liquor and tobacco smoke, and the weaker scents of cleaning chemicals and vomit. In one of the booths , two heads bobbed with the movement of mug-clenching fists. A scrawny bartender with droopy eyelids picked his teeth with a swizzle stick and chatted quietly with a woman seated at the bar. Otherwise the bar was empty.”

— Robert Liparulo

“My mind, my logical, practical, reasoning mind, is peeing in his mind pants.”

— Orson Scott Card

“One can't go on anymore, she said, electronics seems so clean and yet it dirties, dirties tremendously, and it obliges you to leave traces of yourself everywhere as if you were shitting and peeing on yourself continuously: I want to leave nothing, my favorite key is the one that deletes.”

— Elena Ferrante

“Are you up? Dressing? (Astrid)
No. I'm pissing on your rug. What do you think I'm doing? (Zarek)
I'm blind. For all I know you really are peeing on my rug, which is a very nice rug incidentally, so I hope you're kidding. (Astrid)”

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

“Why did you leave? (Aiden)
I took care of the person harassing him. Threat gone. Job eliminated. Anything else you want to know? Dental records, fingerprints? Retinal scan? (Leta)
Urine sample would work. (Aiden)
What cup you want me to use? (Leta)
Does anything faze you? (Aiden)
I fight people for a living. Do you honestly think peeing in a cup is going to frighten me? (Leta)”

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

“Why do organizations need to mark everything with their insignia? It's like a dog peeing on every tree. Google is the same way. So was NewBagel. Using”

— Robin Sloan

“Some boys walk by and you cry, seeing them. They feel good, they look good, they are good. Oh, they're not above peeing off a bridge, or stealing an occasional dime-store pencil sharpener; it's not that. It's just, you know, seeing them pass, that's how they'll be all their life; they'll get hit, hurt, cut, bruised, and always wonder why, why does it happen? how can it happen to them?”

— Ray Bradbury

“Come on. Let's go to Cafe Bella and drink so many lattes we're peeing coffee for a week.”

— Gena Showalter

“Thank you for my accessories. This is over the top. And not practical." She hugged him around the waist and set her head on his chest.
"Fuck practical." He tilted her face to his. "I want to decorate you with diamonds. It's sort of like peeing on my tree, 'cept more expensive.”

— Debra Anastasia

“I saw someone peeing in Jermym Street the other day. I thought, is this the end of civilization as we know it? Or is it simply someone peeing in Jermyn Street?”

— Alan Bennett

“She never gave up adoring our father, but he ceased to be, for her, the larger-than-life hero I continued to make him into. For Patty, he was more like a deeply lovable spaniel who keeps peeing on the rug and chewing on the upholstery, no matter how many times you tell him not to.”

— Joyce Maynard

“As Ian looked at her, he felt something in his chest slip and shift. The pressure came with a blood-tingling rush of triumph and satisfaction, pride and a deeply burning sense of possessiveness. His inner caveman warrior had been awakened and wanted to rush around the room, peeing into the corners, marking it-and her-as his own, while shouting Mine! and randomly smashing things for emphasis.
But he knew that was he was feeling was the equivalent of emotional and hormonal indigestion. He hadn't done this in a long time. And he particularly hadn't done it with a woman he liked as much as this one. In fact, he'd never had sex with anyone that he genuinely liked as much as he liked Phoebe.”

— Suzanne Brockmann

“MOM - noun - One who sacrifices her body, sleep, social life, spending money, eating hot meals, peeing alone, patience, memory, energy and sanity for LOVE!”

— Tanya Masse

“MOMBIE - noun - Suffers from forgetfulness, fatigue, exhaustion, moodiness, sleeplessness, confusion and moments of insanity!
Has difficulty eating or drinking anything while it's still hot and peeing alone.”

— Tanya Masse

“Obnoxious smart-ass. Never been anywhere, never done anything, huh. Arrested development, huh. Considering that it was coming from a man who spent his nights peeing on his neighbors' fences, that was rich. Shoot, I should've told him that.”

— Ilona Andrews

“Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?”

— George Carlin

“Why is it we want so badly to memorialize ourselves? Even while we're still alive. We wish to assert our existence, like dogs peeing on fire hydrants.”

— Margaret Atwood

“Why is it that we want so badly to memorialise ourselves? Even while we're still alive. we wish to assert our existence, like dogs peeing on fire hydrants. we put on display our framed photographs, our parchment diplomas, our silver-plated cups; we monogram our linen, we carve our names on trees, we scrawl them on washroom walls. It's all the same impulse. what do we hope from it? Applause, envy, respect? Or simply attention, of any kind we can get? At the very least we want a witness. we can't stand the idea of our own voices falling silent finally, like a radio turning down.”

— Margaret Atwood

“He read me another poem, and another one - and he explained the true history of poetry, which is a kind of secret, a magic known only to wise men. Mr. Premier, I won't be saying anything new if I say that the history of the world is the history of a ten-thousand-year war of brains between the rich and the poor. Each side is eternally trying to hoodwink the other side: and it has been this way since the start of time. The poor win a few battles (the peeing in the potted plants, the kicking of the pet dogs, etc.) but of course the rich have won the war for ten thousand years. That's why, on day, some wise men, out of compassion for the poor, left them signs and symbols in poems, which appear to be about roses and pretty girls and things like that, but when understood correctly spill out secrets that allow the poorest man on earth to conclude the ten-thousand-year-old brain-war on terms favorable to himself.”

— Aravind Adiga

“The more you cry, the less you'll pee, and peeing is more important.”

— Maya Angelou

“That reminds me. Make sure you drink a lot of water while you're there, or you'll dehydrate fast. And if you find yourself not peeing, or your urine is dark in color, you're not drinking enough.
The last thing in the world she'd ever wanted to discuss with Zane Alexander was the color of her pee.”

— Cat Johnson

“Peeing is like a good book in that it is very, very hard to stop once you start.”

— John Green

“That night, the booze felt great, as the warmth of the wine in my stomach spread through my body. I didn't like feeling stupid or out of control, but I liked the way it made everything (laughing, crying, peeing in front of your friends) easier.”

— John Green

“It was the perfect time and place for an inherently timid person like him to express his
inner pervert by peeing in public.”

— RyÅ« Murakami

“I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.”

— Adam Ferrara

“That was just too embarrassing, although there was a sort of poetic justice to peeing on your enemies when they weren't able to get to you.  And it wasn't like they would kill me less painfully if I didn't pee on them.”

— Elle Casey

“It was in that garage that Alec worked, no longer wearing red bodices or peeing blue, but doing mysterious greasy things.”

— V.S. Naipaul

“The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants.”

— Kendare Blake

“I don't hear peeing," Jamie said mockingly.
"Eat me," I muttered.
"What's that?"
"Leave me," I said louder.”

— Michelle Hodkin

“I'll be peeing like a champion in no time”

— M. Leighton

“Chutzpah' is best defined as a small boy peeing through someone's letter box, then ringing the doorbell to ask how far it went.”

— Maureen Lipman

“In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said 'looks like we're a couple of peeing Toms. His angry silence is something I'll never forget.”

— Tom Hanks

“Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.”

— Jon Foreman

“I only wanted Uncle Vernon standing by his own car (a Hudson) on a clear day, I got him and the car. Ialso got a bit of Aunt Mary's laundry and Beau Jack, the dog, peeing on the fence, and a row of potted tuberous begonias on the porch and 78 trees and a million pebbles in the driveway and more. It's a generous medium, photography.”

— Lee Friedlander

“The first time I lay actual eyes on the real David Lynch on the set of his movie, he's peeing on a tree ... Mr. David Lynch, a prodigious coffee drinker, apparently pees hard and often.”

— David Foster Wallace

“I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.”

— Demetri Martin

“There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool.”

— Demetri Martin

“Don't tell me it's raining when you're peeing on me!”

— Mason Cooley

“It's so scary. And then I end up getting so nervous that I get like [I am] now. I get really hyper. [Squeals.] So then I go in interviews and I'm like, 'I'm like a chihuahua! I'm shaking and peeing!' And then afterwards, I'm like, 'I just talked about peeing on the red carpet.'”

— Jennifer Lawrence

“You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the city.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

“What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a poodle peeing on your leg? You let the Rottweiler finish.”

— Frank Carson

“We have always had dogs, and they have faithfully performed many valuable services for us, such as: 1. Peeing on everything. 2. When we're driving in our car, alerting us that we have passed another dog by barking real loud in our ears for the next 114 miles. 3. Trying to kill the Avon lady.”

— Dave Barry