Quotes About Being Hurt By Your Parents

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“I realize its commonplace for parents to say to their child sternly, I love you, but I dont always like you. But what kind of love is that? It seems to me that comes down to, Im not oblivious to you - that is, you can still hurt my feelings - but I cant stand having you around. Who wants to be loved like that? Given a choice, I might skip the deep blood tie and settle for being liked. I wonder if wouldnt have been more moved if my own mother had taken me in her arms and said, I like you. I wonder if just enjoying your kids company isnt more important.”
— Lionel Shriver —

“I realize it's commonplace for parents to say to their child sternly, 'I love you, but I don't always like you.' But what kind of love is that? It seems to me that comes down to, 'I'm not oblivious to you - that is, you can still hurt my feelings - but I can't stand having you around.' Who wants to be loved like that? Given a choice, I might skip the deep blood tie and settle for being liked. I wonder if wouldn't have been more moved if my own mother had taken me in her arms and said, 'I like you.' I wonder if just enjoying your kid's company isn't more important.”

— Lionel Shriver

“How many people can you claim truly care about you? I mean, not just the people in your life who are fun to hang out with, not just the people who you love and trust. But people who feel good when you are happy and successful, feel bad when you are hurt or going through a hard time, people who would walk away from their lives for a little while to help you with yours. Not many. I felt that from Jake and I wasn't sure how to handle it. Because there's another side to it, you know. When someone is invested in your well-being, like your parents, for example, you become responsible for them in a way. Anything you do to hurt yourself hurts them. I already felt responsible for too many people that way. You're not really free when people care about you; not if you care about them.”

— Lisa Unger

“Most adult children of toxic parents grow up feeling tremendous confusion about what love means and how it's supposed to feel. Their parents did extremely unloving things to them in the name of love. They came to understand love as something chaotic, dramatic, confusing, and often painful-something they had to give up their own dreams and desires for. Obviously, that's not what love is all about. Loving behaviour doesn't grind you down, keep you off balance, or create feelings of self-hatred. Love doesn't hurt, it feels good. Loving behaviour nourishes your emotional well-being. When someone is being loving to you, you feel accepted, cared for, valued, and respected. Genuine love creates feelings of warmth, pleasure, safety, stability, and inner peace.”

— Susan Forward

“After years of watching my parents -I always assumed marriage meant loving someone so much that you were blind to everything and everyone else. And when your eyes were finally opened you'd hate that person so much that all you wanted was to see them hurt, no matter what it cost. I never wanted to live like that. But with Kai, we aren't blind to the world. He doesn't blind me, being with him makes the world clearer. My eyes are open and there's no way I'd ever want to hurt him.”

— H.R. Willaston