Mr Potato Quotes

“It a heasy t'ing to live for de lightnin' crack hillumination of possession.
It heasy to hide in de dark o' faith, pretendin' dat anyt'in' dat skitter an' scuttle in de night is jus' bad himagination.
It a heasy t'in' jus' to stay where you at. Grow roots. Vegetate. Be a potato.”

— Dave McKean

“Vegan Vengeance" - A Vegan teams up with "Carrot Chick", Broccoli Boy" and Paul Potato" to battle meat eaters everywhere. If "Oliver Onion" joins in they may stand a chance of making the enemy cry every time they eat meat!!”

— Neil Leckman

“Reading one book is like eating one potato chip.”

— Diane Duane

“The objection to profit is as if a bystander, observing the planter digging his crop, should say: "You put in only one potato and you are taking out a dozen. You must have taken them away from someone else; those extra potatoes cannot be yours by right." If profit is denounced, it must be assumed that running at a loss is admirable. On the contrary, that is what requires justification. Profit is self-justifying.”

— Isabel Paterson

“While we're at it, why don't we add a third emotion to this list: lust. You are probably unaware that Linnaeus lumped the tomato into the same genus as the potato, a food with a reputation for its widespread availability and easy satisfaction of oral needs.”

— Benson Bruno

“The New York Times and the rest of the mainstream media will only refer to partial birth abortion as 'what its opponents refer to as partial birth abortions.' What do its supporters call it? Casual Fridays? Bean-with-bacon potato chip dip? Uh ... Steve?”

— Ann Coulter

“Allegories are told with a purpose whose possibility is lost
Until a potato-eater appears and eats potatoes
”

— Lyn Hejinian

“[Slitscan's audience] is best visualized as a vicious, lazy, profoundly ignorant, perpetually hungry organism craving the warm god-flesh of the anointed. Personally I like to imagine something the size of a baby hippo, the color of a week-old boiled potato, that lives by itself, in the dark, in a double-wide on the outskirts of Topeka. It's covered with eyes and it sweats constantly. The sweat runs into those eyes and makes them sting. It has no mouth, Laney, no genitals, and can only express its mute extremes of murderous rage and infantile desire by changing the channels on a universal remote. Or by voting in presidential elections.”

— William Gibson

“Would you buy potato chips that listed potato by-product or potato digest as an ingredient”

— Michelle T. Bernard

“The hiking boots the outdoor adventure magazine sent me to buy - large, ungainly potato like things that I have been trying to break in for the past four days - cut into my feet and draw blood as if the were lined with cheese graters. I have come to hate these Timberlands with a fervor I usually reserve for people. Just think, the shoes I wouldn't be caught dead in might actually turn out to be the shoes I am caught dead in.”

— David Rakoff

“Vanity, right?" Nash reappeared in the living room with an open bag of potato chips. "I nominate my venerable brother. He likes to play hero, and one look at him should establish the vanity angle."
"Nash!" I really shouldn't have been surprised by the dig. But I was.
"What?" He raised one brow at me in challenge. "It's okay to call me jealous, but not to call him vain?"
"Awareness of one's obvious advantages doesn't imply vanity," Tod insisted calmly.
Nash turned on him. "Does it imply narcissism?"
Tod huffed. "This coming from the guy who owns more hair products than his girlfriend.”

— Rachel Vincent

“Too bad guys aren't like Mr. Potato Head Where you can pick and choose which parts you want. Then we might come up with a guy who meets your standards.”

— Susane Colasanti

“This potato - is this potato named Steve?"
She rolled her eyes. "No, stupid. That's Phil. The bread is Steve.”

— Rick Riordan

“Live the dream, Potato.”

— Miranda July

“I kept scrabbling around in myself for this new indescribable emotion, like stirring a crowded silverware drawer for the potato peeler, but no matter how I rattled around, no matter what I moved out of the way, it wasn't there. The potato peeler is always in the drawer after all. It's under the spatula, it's slipped into the fold of the food-processor guarantee -”

— Lionel Shriver

“I swallowed. "Is that ... for me?"
One of the other gnomes, a short man with a nose like a potato, laughed.
"Well, the prince certainly isn't going to wear it.”

— Julie Kagawa

“I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear.”

— Phil Hartman

“We came out with a rice and a corn chip, then quickly decided we needed to focus on potato. It was just too much for consumers to figure out at once.”

— Keith Belling

“I'm not a potato sack; I've never sat on my couch. If I'm home, I'm cleaning, feeding my dogs, doing stuff. Life is too precious to waste time.”

— Gisele Bundchen

“Hot dogs and Red Vines and potato chips and French fries are my favorite foods.”

— Betty White

“Onion ring? Zara said, handing her a leftover carton.
As everyone knows, the offer of an onion ring is not to be taken lightly. Onion rings are far more valuable than their throwaway side dish counterparts
french fries and potato chips
and, as such, have brought about numerous reconciliations throughout history.”

— Gina Damico

“My personality, when tasked with creating meals, goes something like this: Is there a way we can make this more difficult? Because let's do that. I don't mean to complicate things. It's just - why buy pre-packaged potato salad when you can spend your morning boiling potatoes and flipping out because there's no dill in the house?”

— Sloane Crosley

“The German officers said any soldier caught stealing food from our gardens would be shot. One poor soldier was caught stealing a potato. He was chased by his own people and climbed up a tree to hide. But they found him and shot him down out of the tree. Still, that did not stop them from stealing food. I am not pointing a finger at those practices, because some of us were doing the same. I figure hunger makes you desperate when you wake to it every morning.”

— Mary Ann Shaffer

“Without the potato, the balance of European power might never have tilted north.”

— Michael Pollan

“I heard one story about an octopus in a home tank who would get out, cruise around the house, take knick-knacks, and drag them back to its tank. Like a dog! They're so smart that there are octopus enrichment handbooks so you don't bore your octopus. I've seen them play with Legos, Mr. Potato Head, you name it!”

— Sy Montgomery

“Hair spray was king, and the eighties silhouette in Burlington was big hair, giant shoulder pads, chunky earrings, thick belts, and form-fitting stretch pants. My silhouette was an upside-down triangle. Add in my round potato face and hearty eyebrows and you've got yourself a grade-A boner killer, so remember that before you try to jerk it to my teenage-nurse story.”

— Amy Poehler

“I'm a sweet eater. I love lemon pie and sweet potato pie.”

— Claude Williams

“Soy sauce and seaweed go really well with potato chips.”

— Jose Andres

“I'm a couch potato. I love to stay in and just watch a DVD with the missus. Or we all go over to Louis's house and watch 'X Factor.'”

— Zayn Malik

“You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!”

— Charles Dickens

“Bobby Bingo had skin like a baked potato. A complete vegetable man, Lou Ann thought,”

— Barbara Kingsolver

“Sal Monelli was an unfortunate fellow whose name had struck such terror in her heart she forbade him to touch any food item that wasn't sealed and crated. Lou Ann's life was ruled by the fear of salmonella, to the extent that she claimed the only safe way to eat potato salad was to stick your head in the refrigerator and eat it in there.”

— Barbara Kingsolver

“You say potato, I say potahto." "I say rice pilaf. I say you're trying to distract me with talk of side dishes.”

— Josh Lanyon

“I remember I once went to a nutritionist who said I come from good Russian-Jewish peasant stock, which means I can hold a potato in my body for a week, if need be.”

— Jennifer Jason Leigh

“The whole idea of a spokesman is a joke and a fraud if you drop someone like a hot potato if there's controversy.”

— Jerry Della Femina

“My grandchildren just know me now as Mr. Potato Head.”

— Don Rickles

“Usually I trundle about in trainers and baggy jeans, looking about as attractive as a potato.”

— Gail Porter

“I try to avoid barbecue potato chips. They're my weakness.”

— Gwyneth Paltrow

“Lord, you're Irish," said Will. "Can you make things that don't have potatoes in them? We had an Irish cook once when I was a boy. Potato pie, potato custard, potatoes with potato sauce ...”

— Cassandra Clare

“I'm really enamored of the potato in all its guises.”

— James Beard

“To bad guys arent like Mr. Potato head where you can pick and chose which parts you want.”

— Susane Colasanti

“If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried”

— Josh Stern

“In all the good Greek of Plato
I lack my roastbeef and potato.

A better man was Aristotle,
Pulling steady on the bottle.”

— John Crowe Ransom

“Parental anxieties: A timeline. Pre-1800s: Potato famine, death of entire villages. 1900s: Trying to keep dad's job through depression so entire family does not starve or have to sell off children to agribusiness. 2000: Infringement of Parenthood on sense of Personhood.”

— Sandra Tsing Loh

“All food starting with p is comfort food: pasta, potato chips, pretzels, peanut butter, pastrami, Pizza, pastry.”

— Sara Paretsky

“One day my dad said, "If you guys ever stop singing, I'll drop you like a hot potato." That's what he said. It hurt me. You don't say that to children and I never forgot it.”

— Michael Jackson

“The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.”

— Jerry Seinfeld

“The highly motivated people in society are the ones causing all the trouble. It's not the lazy unmotivated folks sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips who bother anyone.”

— George Carlin

“Many of the delicious soups you eat in French homes and little restaurants are made just this way, with a leek-and-potato base to which leftover vegetables or sauces and a few fresh items are added.”

— Julia Child

“Pride can go without domestics, without fine clothes, can live in a house with two rooms, can eat potato, purslain, beans, lyed corn, can work on the soil, can travel afoot, can talk with poor men, or sit silent well contented with fine saloons. But vanity costs money, labor, horses, men, women, health and peace, and is still nothing at last; a long way leading nowhere.
Only one drawback; proud people are intolerably selfish, and the vain are gentle and giving.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson