Good Balls Quotes

“Whatever you do, good or bad, sorry or not, you get punished, darling. Life kicks you in the balls.”

— Cathleen Schine

“You're starting to look like you did before, and that's not good because what you looked like was complete shit, so get up and go to bed so I can stop acting like your mother. I can already feel my balls starting to recede. And hey, does it look like I'm growing breasts? - Kye”

— Krista Alasti

“If you're not good, I'll burn your-"
"Yeah, I know." MeShack strolled to his bedroom. "You'll burn my balls off.”

— Kenya Wright

“Well. Well?
What are you going to do? What are you going to say?
What are you going to say when you're drowning in your own dung and they keep booting you back into it, when all the screams in hell wouldn't be as loud as you want to scream, when you're at the bottom of the pit and the whole world's at the top, when it has but one face, a face without eyes or ears, and yet it watches and listens ... .
What are you going to do and say? Why, pardner, that's simple. It's easy as nailing your balls to a stump and falling off backwards. Snow again, pardner, and drift me hard, because that's an easy one.
You're gonna say, they can't keep a good man down. You're gonna say, a winner never quits and a quitter never wins. You're gonna smile, boy, you're gonna show 'em the ol' fightin' smile. And then you're gonna get out there an' hit 'em hard and fast and low, an'-an' Fight!”

— Jim Thompson

“Once upon a time, I wrote a book. People seemed to dig it, so I wrote another and one after that. That's when Hollywood came knocking at my back door. As soon as I cashed that check, I wrapped my lips around the mighty erection that is the film industry and sucked hard, just like a good whore should. Unfortunately, I had to be taught not to orphan the balls.”

— Hank Moody

“Things are the way they are, but everything has a reason. Kittens are cute because they're tiny fur-balls with smushed faces. Rainbows are pretty because they have every color in the world in them and they're made from refracted light. Chick flicks are sad because chicks sometimes just need a good cry. And assholes are always assholes for a reason.”

— Courtney Cole

“Yeah I'm done. Chase frigging Reese." Slade shook his head. Mustang laughed again. Nothing like some good old-fashion jealousy to make a man see clearly. "Yeah, I know. The kid's got balls. I'll give him that. I guess we better show her what real men can do for her, huh?" "Oh yeah." Slade let out a snort. "'You get a buckle for that you know.' Yeah. I bet he made sure she knew that.”

— Cat Johnson

“You're so freaking hot, Michaels. As much as I love watching you suck my thumb, I have bigger plans for you. I wanna show you how good this can be. I need to be buried balls deep inside you, and I will be, but I want you good and relaxed before we start.”

— Kindle Alexander

“Cole: " There's the old Nik. No 'how do you do', no talk of the weather. Just a good swift kick to the balls."
Nikki: "A kick to your balls is an option?”

— Brodi Ashton

“Jealousy makes you feel bad, but God is jealous, so it must be good. Yet when a dog licks its balls it seems to enjoy it, but it must be bad under the law.”

— Christopher Moore

“Music is poetry, babe. Each note is a word that's uniquely crafted to go with the next note. For me, the only way it gets better is if you put that to lyrics. You take them apart, any good song tells a story separately, through the music and through the lyrics. What makes it grab you by the balls is when you put them together.”

— Kristen Ashley

“Yeah,bumpers are for preschoolers or two teenagers who couldn't stop throwing gutter balls if their lives depended on it.Which, fortunately, they don't.Because we'd be screwed."
I grabbed my glittery hot pink ball (which I was seriously considering buying) and imitated the perfect form a Mohawked guy next to us was using. Instead of shooting straight down the lane and knocking over all the pins, my ball inexplicably went flying backward toward Lend.
"Okay,now we're getting dangerous." Lend brought my ball back and, wrapping himself around me,we threw it together. After pinballing off the bumpers on both sides,it knocked down a whole three pins.
I jumped up and down, screaming. "That's like, practically a strike,right?"
"Good enough for me!”

— Kiersten White

“Because he is good and kind," she explained softly, then went on. "Because he treats me like a princess. Because he makes me laugh. Because he makes me happy. Because he took the trouble to read to me when I could not read to myself. Because he fed me and gave me wine when I could not eat or drink at balls. Because when he kisses me my toes curl, and when he makes love to me I cannot contain my passion.”

— Lynsay Sands

“Hmmm," you muse out loud. Your voice is deep and carnal, a sound which sends new surges of desire rushing to my sex. "These balls are awfully dusty - if only I knew a little slut who was good at polishing balls ...”

— Felicity Brandon

“Even though it's a shortened format of the game, Twenty20 allows people with different skills to play in a team and play their specific roles. Obviously there's not too much time to waste balls, but if you look at guys who play well in the top six, they have a fairly decent amount of good cricketing ability.”

— Rahul Dravid

“Conversation should be like juggling; up go the balls and plates, up and over, in and out, good solid objects that glitter in the footlights and fall with a bang if you miss them.”

— Evelyn Waugh

“You threaten my balls every day."
"That's because they're hanging around my sister," Rose snaps. I hate that she makes a good point. "And you have full right to threaten my eggs or fallopian tubes. Have at them."
I grimace. "I'm not going anywhere near your vagina.”

— Krista Ritchie

“Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.”

— Lee Trevino

“You don't need to play every ball on back foot. Some balls in life deserve to be played on front foot. Every ball needs good judgement to extend the limit.”

— Amit Ray

“We tend to have things a little bit easier than girls. And we tend to assume therefore that the world was built for us, and that we're, you know, the culmination of everything that came before us. And then we get told that having a little bit of this attitude is called balls, and that balls are good, and we kind of take it from there”

— Ned Vizzini

“While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.”

— Henny Youngman

“I kicked Beaky Nose in the nuts with the toe of my shoe, very, very hard. I have big feet and my shoes have steel toes. This is never good news for the sorry son of a bitch whose balls get in the way of my rage issues.”

— Jonathan Maberry

“I am not Superwoman. The reality of my daily life is that I'm juggling a lot of balls in the air trying to be a good wife and mother, trying to be the prime-ministerial consort at home and abroad, barrister and charity worker, and sometimes one of the balls gets dropped.”

— Cherie Blair

“Yes, hard is good. When I was in high school, I spent a lot of time on my knees playing with balls. I guess it was only natural that I became a catcher.”

— Mike Piazza

“Key, crown, child," he muttered. "Well, fuck you, Patience. Three things must you kiss before I let you spook me for good. My boots, my balls, and my ass.”

— Scott Lynch

“Focusing on individual nutrients, their identities, their contents in food, their tissue concentrations, and their biological mechanisms, is like using math and physics to catch balls. It's not the way nature evolved, and it makes proper nutrition far more difficult than it needs to be. Our bodies use countless mechanisms, strategically placed throughout our digestion, absorption, and transport and metabolic pathways, to effortlessly ensure tissue concentrations consistent with good health-no database consultation required. But as long as we let reductionism guide our research and our understanding of nutrition, good health will remain unattainable.”

— T. Colin Campbell

“Oh boy," Lula said when she saw me. "Think we got a good story walking in the door, here. What's with the handcuff?"
"I thought it would look good with the cheese balls in my hair. You know, dress up the outfit."
"I hope it was Morelli," Connie said. "I wouldn't mind being cuffed by Morelli."
"Close," I said. "It was Ranger."
"Uh-oh," Lula said. "Think I just wet my pants."
"It wasn't anything sexual," I said. "It was ... an accident. And then we lost the key."
Connie fanned herself with a manila folder. "I'm having a hot flash.”

— Janet Evanovich

“When you gather up all the balls of life that you try to juggle, it is a very difficult thing to try to focus in on taking good care of yourself. But that's why God invented me - so I can come and teach and preach and make people laugh and give them some education so they can start liking themselves better.”

— Richard Simmons

“I was a good decathlete until I got with a coach that really knew how to train specifically for the event ... I'd really describe it as like being a juggler; you have ten balls and you're trying to get them all in the air at the same time.”

— Dan O'Brien

“Could a more perfect manufactured object than a tennis ball be imagined? Fuzzy and spherical, squeezable and bouncy, its stitching a pair of matching tongues, its voice on impact a pock in the most pleasing of registers. Dogs knew a good thing, dogs loved tennis balls, and so did she.”

— Jonathan Franzen

“A good surgeon needs courage for which a good pair of balls is a prerequisite,”

— Abraham Verghese

“All good balls to hit are strikes, though not all strikes are good balls to hit.”

— Dave Winfield

“I woke up in the hospital. Doctor Cunningham was bending over me. I thought, "We have to stop meeting like this," but didn't even try to say it out loud.
"You've lost blood and had your stitches redone. Do you think you can stay in here long enough for me
to actually release you this time?"
I think I smiled. "Yes, Doctor."
"Just in case you got any funny ideas about leaving, I've doped you up with enough pain killers to make you feel really good. So sleep, and I'll see you in the morning."
My eyes fluttered shut once, then opened. Edward was there. He bent over me and whispered, "Crawling through bushes on your belly, threatening to cut off a man's balls. Such a hard ass."
My voice came faintly even to me. "Had to save your ass."
He bent over me and kissed on my forehead.”

— Laurell K. Hamilton

“Running after balls, diving, taking a home run away, it gives me such a good feeling. I am happy to do it.”

— Carlos Beltran

“When I started racing my father told me, 'Cristiano, nobody has three balls but some people have two very good ones.'”

— Cristiano Da Matta

“In a musical sense, it seemed like all the good intentions had gone awry, very quickly. I mean, we got back from America and Blur had made The Great Escape, which I thought was a really, truly awful album - so cheesy, like a parody of Parklife, but without the balls or the intellect. And Oasis were enormous and I always found them incredibly dreary. There was this uncritical reverence surrounding the whole thing”

— Justine Frischmann

“It has always been like that with changes. In 1913, we established divorce as a right for women in Uruguay. You know what they were saying back then? That families would dissolve. That it was the end of good manners and society. There has always been a conservative and traditional opinion out there that's afraid of change. When I was young and would go dancing at balls, we'd have to wear suits and ties. Otherwise they wouldn't let us in. I don't think anyone dresses up for dancing parties nowadays.”

— Jose Mujica

“A foreign minister, I will maintain it, can never be a good man of business if he is not an agreeable man of pleasure too. Half his business is done by the help of his pleasures: his views are carried on, and perhaps best, and most unsuspectedly, at balls, suppers, assemblies, and parties of pleasure; by intrigues with women, and connections insensibly formed with men, at those unguarded hours of amusement.”

— Lord Chesterfield