Funny Ho Ho Ho Quotes

“I don't want to love him-this would be so much simpler if I didn't. But I do.
He's funny, and passionate, and strong, and he believes in me more than I even believe in myself. When he looks at me, I feel like I could take on the whole world and come out standing tall. I like myself better when I'm with him, because of how he sees me. He makes me feel beautiful and powerful, like I'm the most important thing in the world, and I don't know how to walk away from that. I don't know how to walk away from him.”

— Rachel Vincent

“She always called him Luca, in the Italian manner, and said it with that funny trans-European intonation, the accent oddly placed on the first syllable: 'Where's Loo-ka?', just like Audrey Hepburn saying, 'Take the pic-ture,' in Funny Face.”

— Adam Gopnik

“I'm sarcastic and facetious. It's hard to find those people on first encounter. I can be nice, but I don't want nice friends. I want funny, gregarious, sarcastic, and smart friends.”

— Rachel Bertsche

“Know what?" he said. "The one I'm really mad at is God. I try not to, but the truth is, when you boil it down, he let me get cancer." "Humph," I said. "I always thought that God must trust you a lot to let you go through this." Jeff flinched. "What do you mean?" "Well, he knew you believed in him. He must have known how you would react. He trusted you to go through it." Jeff frowned. "That's a thought. He's the one giving me the strength. That's funny. I'm mad at the one giving me strength." I hadn't meant to be profound. It just slipped out.”

— Jerry B. Jenkins

“There are moments of the most crazy all-encompassing joy. What a phenonenally beautiful kid. A funny, dear child. Kind and open and loving.”

— Elisa Albert

“It's funny, I've decided 'Hallelujah' is a kind of Rorschach test for people, because everyone has a different reaction to it and to what I'm doing. I just sang it, and whatever came out was just natural and spontaneous and maybe that's the best thing, because there's a kind of enigma, both in the meaning of the words and the way Leonard Cohen said them, that catches people's attention.”

— Renée Fleming

“In every drop of water, gust of air, speck of earth, and crackle of lightning, she hears the same thing: This world is alive. And it loves her.
A little while later, the storm notices that Jael has fallen asleep. The rain tapers off. The clouds sneak away like they're trying not to wake her. The wind caresses her cheek one last time, then disperses in all directions. It carries with it the memory of this funny girl with the sad green eyes. And it carries with it a little bit of hope that things might change. That the world might become what it was supposed to be.”

— Jon Skovron

“She's not pretty. Little, funny Fernie. She's not pretty. Poor Fernie.”

— Amy Harmon

“Or maybe I work at Starbucks," he said. She snorted. "Really?" "Really," he said, still smiling. "Someday you'll need health insurance, and you won't think working at Starbucks is funny.”

— Rainbow Rowell

“I wanted to write something tough, hard, sad, but funny.”

— Jennifer Niven

“Probably spending 12 years at boarding school - comedy became a survival gene. But I think some people are funny right off the bat, as soon as they can speak or be naughty.”

— Eric Idle

“I'm not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny.”

— Philippe Falardeau

“I like to invest as a performer in the director's vision and then bring a sense of reality to whatever I'm doing, whether it's comedy or whether it's drama, and trust that they're going to tell me if something's reading as funny or if it's reading as dramatic or reading in the right tone.”

— Amy Seimetz

“Whoever came up with the term "Funny Bone" must have been a masochist, because hitting it is not funny at all ...”

— Gary Hopkins

“Bugs like these we've got here, you aren't going to find those unless you slow down and hunt really hard. Live nearby for a while and look. At which point it's too late, if you get a bad result. You're out of luck then." Long silence as he walked south along the beach. Then: "It's too bad. It really is a very pretty world." Later: "What's funny is anyone thinking it would work in the first place. I mean it's obvious any new place is going to be either alive or dead. If it's alive it's going to be poisonous, if it's dead you're going to have to work it up from scratch. I suppose that could work, but it might take about as long as it took Earth. Even if you've got the right bugs, even if you put machines to work, it would take thousands of years. So what's the point? Why do it at all? Why not be content with what you've got? Who were they, that they were so discontent? Who the fuck were they?" This sounded much like Devi, and Freya put her head”

— Kim Stanley Robinson

“As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm thinking, 'Who cares? They're laughing.' If you go on stage, and they're laughing at you full-on for 60 minutes? You know, whatever puts them in the seats.”

— Larry The Cable Guy

“In a funny way, poems are suited to modern life. They're short, they're intense. Nobody has time to read a 700-page book. People read magazines, and a poem takes less time than an article.”

— Caroline Kennedy

“I watch my heart disappearing into her rosebud mouth. My Valentine's jest somehow seems less funny.”

— Neil Gaiman

“I look up at the sky, wondering if I'll catch a glimpse of kindness there, but I don't. All I see are indifferent summer clouds drifting over the Pacific. And they have nothing to say to me. Clouds are always taciturn. I probably shouldn't be looking up at them. What I should be looking at is inside of me. Like staring down into a deep well. Can I see kindness there? No, all I see is my own nature. My own individual, stubborn, uncooperative often self-centered nature that still doubts itself
that, when troubles occur, tries to find something funny, or something nearly funny, about the situation. I've carried this character around like an old suitcase, down a long, dusty path. I'm not carrying it because I like it. The contents are too heavy, and it looks crummy, fraying in spots. I've carried it with me because there was nothing else I was supposed to carry. Still, I guess I have grown attached to it. As you might expect.”

— Haruki Murakami

“That is the problem with comedy in India. Spoofing sells. Come up with original comedy about the hilarious nation we are, with funny accents and odd rituals, and we get into trouble.”

— Cyrus Broacha

“It's both funny and sad which seem to me to be the two basic ingredients of good comedy.”

— Tony Hancock

“'Friends' played in this territory of being funny, and then also just grabbing your heart. And not afraid of that. It was a comedic soap opera. Not being afraid to have an audience feel something, laugh and cry, was quite extraordinary and quite wonderful.”

— Warren Littlefield

“I was employed as a salesman, selling a marvelous tea that could cure all ills. Funny, don't you think? I have never lied so much in my life, I traveled all over the country, selling my miraculous tea to whoever would believe me. I never felt guilty about it. The tea didn't do any harm, I can assure you, and my words gave such hope to those who bought it that I reckon they might still owe me money, because hope is beyond price.”

— José Saramago

“I don't think I'm a funny person in general. I have had to learn comedy.”

— Ashton Kutcher

“It's kind of funny, with all of the different outlets that come from acting that you could try, I would love to direct and kind of be involved in art direction, too.”

— Imogen Poots

“Justin Timberlake is everything, and what more could you want in a person? He's funny. He's cute. He's great. He just understands. I get him and he gets me, and that's cool.”

— Britney Spears

“It's a funny world, Hobbes."
"True."
"But it's not a hilarious world. ... unless you like sick humour."
"The world is probably funnier to people who don't live here.”

— Bill Watterson

“What I hope to do in the States is to break up this stereotyping of Muslims and Arabs. I mean, we are basically the only sub-culture that is not represented in Hollywood. And it's funny because everybody is talking about the Muslim world and the Arab world, and we are not represented.”

— Bassem Youssef

“It's a funny thing because I don't want to wish away my privacy. Do I want 'Terminator Genisys' to explode? Absolutely. Do I want to take my career to the next level? Absolutely? You have to trade some things for that. It's all about how you conduct yourself and what you make of the experience.”

— Jai Courtney

“Jerry Seinfeld has an interesting theory. He goes, '20 pounds up or down, and you lose your funny.'”

— Jason Alexander

“[ ... ] You're not in love with anyone, are you?'
'No,' said Kay. 'Someone's in love with me, as it happens. A grand person, too ... But that's another secret. I'm thinking of the morphia, you see. I'm counting on your not being able to remember any of this.'
'Why is it a secret?'
'I promised the person it would be, that's all.'
'But you won't love him back?'
Kay smiled. 'You'd think I would, wouldn't you? But, isn't it funny-we never seem to love the people we ought to, I can't think why ...”

— Sarah Waters

“The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining.”

— Kevin Nealon

“I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh. It's almost too funny to get an award.”

— Denis Leary

“Comedy needs to happen naturally and be in touch with the character. When you see that guy in your office that everybody laughs at, he doesn't think he's funny. He's just being him, and that's the joke.”

— Terry Crews

“It's funny how you have to keep changing, or showing that you are capable of doing something different from people's expectations. People really only do remember you from the last thing you've done, or desperately want to put you into a position that they think you're capable of.”

— Dominic Cooper

“Writers are funny about reviews: when they get a good one they ignore it
but when they get a bad review they never forget it. Every writer I know is the same way: you get a hundred good reviews, and one bad, andyou remember only the bad. For years, you go on and fantasize about the reviewer who didn't like your book; you imagine him as a jerk, a wife-beater, a real ogre. And, in the meantime, the reviewer has forgotten all about the whole thing. But, twenty years later, the writer still remembers that one bad review.”

— Art Buchwald

“I want to be able to go into a room of aliens and be funny. I don't care who it is. I don't ever want to limit myself to a type of comedy because I don't want to be stuck. I want to be able to make anybody laugh and that's the key for me.”

— Godfrey

“No, I always wanted to be a singer. It was kind of funny that I took this road, started acting, then-almost ten years later-in Wayne's World people finally got to see me sing. And everyone thought it was dubbed in.”

— Tia Carrere

“At sixteen, I was a funny, skinny little thing, all eyelashes and legs. And then, suddenly people told me it was gorgeous. I thought they had gone mad.”

— Twiggy

“It's all about one split-second. Boxing is a funny thing. You blink your eyes and somebody says good night to you.”

— Kostya Tszyu

“Eventually light prevails, you just have to be patient. So practice Buddhism, learn to be enlightened, put a smile on your face, go find a great teacher, meditate, and stay funny.”

— Frederick Lenz

“I've always wanted to do more significant stuff. I think of myself as well-informed, but the hardest thing to do is talk about politics and current events and be funny and not just preachy.”

— Gary Gulman

“At Christmas, individuals are apportioned their roles in the family script - you're either the funny one or the sensitive one; or you either do the cooking or the washing up. And those roles aren't easy to change.”

— Tom Hiddleston

“Think of prototypes as a funny markup language
the interpretation is left up to the rendering engine.”

— Larry Wall