Funny Crap Quotes

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Funny Crap Quotes

Oh shit, oh shit, stupid shower present!" Now she did pull her hair as she made the dash to her office. Roarke sat in her visitors chair, comfortably involved with his PPC. He glanced up, let loose a regretful sigh. "You changed. And I didnt have any time to ogle you in uniform." "I have to go shopping!" Staring at her, Roarke pressed his fingertips to his temple. "Im sorry, I believe I must have had a small stroke. What did you say?" "This isnt funny." She bent down, gripped him by the lapels. "I forgot to get a thing for the thing, and I dont even know what the thing is supposed to be. Now I have to go out and hunt something down. Except—" Her eyes went from slightly mad to speculative. "We have all kinds of things around the house. Couldnt I just wrap something up and—" "No." "Crap!
— J.D. Robb —

Oh shit, oh shit, stupid shower present!"
Now she did pull her hair as she made the dash to her office.
Roarke sat in her visitor's chair, comfortably involved with his PPC. He glanced up, let loose a regretful sigh. "You changed. And I didn't have any time to ogle you in uniform."
"I have to go shopping!"
Staring at her, Roarke pressed his fingertips to his temple. "I'm sorry, I believe I must have had a small stroke. What did you say?"
"This isn't funny." She bent down, gripped him by the lapels. "I forgot to get a thing for the thing, and I don't even know what the thing is supposed to be. Now I have to go out and hunt something down. Except-" Her eyes went from slightly mad to speculative. "We have all kinds of things around the house. Couldn't I just wrap something up and-"
"No."
"Crap!

— J.D. Robb

Pops gave him a cool stare that settled Tom down - a thing not always easy to do. "Son, do you know what history is?"
"Uh ... stuff that happened in the past?"
"Nope," he said, trying on his canvas change-belt. "History is the collective and ancestral shit of the human race, a great big and ever growing pile of crap. Right now, we're standin at the top of it, but pretty soon we'll be buried under the doodoo of generations yet to come. That's why your folks' clothes look so funny in old photographs, to name but a single example. And, as someone who's destined to buried beneath the shit of your children and grandchildren, I think you should be just a leetle more forgiving.

— Stephen King

Hup! ... and here we are, waking up. Quick scan around, nothing immediately threatening, it would seem ... Hmm. Floating in space. Odd. Nobody else around. That's funny. View's a bit degraded. Oh-oh, that's a bad sign. Don't feel quite right, either. Stuff missing here ... Clock running way slow, like it's down amongst the electronics crap ... Run full system check ... Oh, good grief!

— Iain M. Banks

It's not funny at all that we do all that advertising for children. Why is advertising for children allowed? What possible reason can there be for having those effing adverts on TV for all this crap that's made by poor people in poor countries that we sell our children who have too much?

— Emma Thompson

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