Do You Remember Funny Quotes

“She (Candace) straightened her spine and shot him (Ryan) a warning glare. "You know what? You just reminded me why I don't like you."
He grinned like he got a giant kick out of needling her. Or maybe it was her response that he found funny. "Well I like you."
"That's because I'm not rude and obnoxious."
"Well there is that. But I think it's mostly to do with the fact that I'm standing here breathing because of you."
"Ah. So gratitude makes you rude? I'll have to remember that if I'm in the area next time you get in a tight spot.”

— Kaylea Cross

“Do you remember Zhitomir, Vasily? Do you remember the Teterev, Vasily, and that evening when the Sabbath, the young Sabbath tripped stealthily along the sunset, her little red heel treading on the stars?
THe slender horn of the moon bathed its arrows in the black waters of the Teterev. Funny little Gedali, founder of the Fourth International, was taking us to Rabbi Motele Bratzlavsky's for evening service. Funny little Gedali swayed the cock's feathers on his high hat in the red haze of the evening. The candes in the Rabbi's room blinked their predatory eyes. Bent over prayer books, brawny Jews were moaning in muffled voices, and the old buffoon of the zaddiks of Chernobyl jingled coppers in his torn pocket ...
... Do you remember that night, Vasily? Beyond the windows horses were neighing and Cossacks were shouting. The wilderness of war was yawning beyong the windows, and Robbi Motele Bratzslavsky was praying at the eastern wall, his decayed fingers clinging to his tales. ( ... )”

— Isaac Babel

“So you want to hear a story? Well, I used to know a whole lot of pretty interesting ones. Some of them so funny you'd laugh yourself unconscious, others so terrible you'd never want to repeat them. But I can't remember any of those. So I'll just tell you about the time I found that lost thing ...”

— Shaun Tan

“They're a funny lot, suicides. I remember one man who couldn't get any work to do and his wife died, so he pawned his clothes and bought a revolver; but he made a mess of it, he only shot out an eye and he got alright. And then, if you please, with an eye gone and a piece of his face blown away, he came to the conclusion that the world wasn't such a bad place after all, and he lived happily ever afterwards. Thing I've always noticed, people don't commit suicide for love, as you'd expect, that's just a fancy of novelists; they commit suicide because they haven't got any money. I wonder why that is."
"I suppose money's more important than love," suggest Philip.”

— W. Somerset Maugham

“There was a time you saw me once, one afternoon, in the dormitories. There was no one else around, and I was playing this tape, this music. I was sort of dancing with my eyes closed and you saw me.'
' ... yes, I remember that occasion. I still think about it from time to time.'
'That's funny, so do I.”

— Kazuo Ishiguro

“Isn't it weird," I said, "the way you remember things, when someone's gone?"
What do you mean?"
I ate another piece of waffle. "When my dad first died, all I could think about was that day. It's taken me so long to be able to think back to before that, to everything else."
Wes was nodding before I even finished. "It's even worse when someone's sick for a long time," he said. "You forget they were ever healthy, ever okay. It's like there was never a time when you weren't waiting for something awful to happen."
But there was," I said. "I mean, it's only been in the last few months that I've started remembering all this good stuff, funny stuff about my dad. I can't believe I ever forgot it in the first place."
You didn't forget," Wes said, taking a sip of his water. "You just couldn't remember right then. But now you're ready to, so you can."
I thought about this as I finished off my waffle.”

— Sarah Dessen

“Memory is a funny thing. It tricks you into believing that you've forgotten important moments, and then when you're raking your brain for a bit of information that might make sense of something else, it taps you on the head and says, Remember when you told me to put that memory in the green rubbish bin? Well, I didn't, I put it in the black recycling tub, and it's coming your way again.”

— Melina Marchetta

“I remember love. It's what I have to keep on reminding myself. It's funny how you can forget everything except people loving you.”

— Melina Marchetta

“Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers ... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.”

— Amy Poehler

“Do you remember the pattern, Livia?"
"Blow ... lick ... bite." Livia wanted to say something cute, something funny, but he licked his lips and she forgot how to make any more words.”

— Debra Anastasia

“9. How can we tell if a politician is telling the truth? Is there a way to know for sure? You may remember the old joke: "How do you know if a politician is lying? If he's moving his lips." It's not that funny anymore, is it? Obviously, there is no certain way to know at the moment something is said. But remember this: past performance serves to reveal future behavior. A person who has exhibited a pattern of lying is a liar.”

— Andy Andrews

“Our characters were antiseptic but we weren't. And if you remember what we did on BATMAN, as the scripts were written very funny, we played them very straight.”

— Burt Ward

“It's funny, when people talk about the 70s I can tell you the year of every album but when it comes to the later efforts I can't remember the exact years, it's funny isn't it?”

— Steve Hackett

“I suppose the things you remember about someone who has died are the funny moments. Those are the ones that stand out.”

— Harry Lloyd

“I suppose I should start in the beginning-March 2010. No, that wasn't when I was born. It was when I began to live. Most people think I'm crazy-maybe I am. You see I began to live the day my life was taken away. Funny, I don't remember how it happened. I do know now, it never could've been stopped.”

— Aleatha Romig

“I remember it was a damn funny thing for a stranger to say," Stephen said. "Old Ones, we Old Ones. With capital letters
you could *hear* them.”

— Susan Cooper

“Hey, manager ... Some kid must have left his glove here ... It has his name on it ... See? Right here ... Willie Mays ... He wrote his name on his glove, see? Poor kid ... He's probably been looking all over for it ... We should have a lost and found. I don't know any kid around here named Willie Mays, do you? How are we gonna get it back to him? He was pretty smart putting his name on his glove this way, though ... It's funny, I just don't remember any kid by that name ... "
"Look at your own glove."
"What?"
"Look at your own glove ... There's a name on it ... "
"Babe Ruth ... Well, I'll be! How in the world do you suppose I got her glove?!”

— Charles M. Schulz

“When I was in New York, I got to see Joan Rivers do an hour of material, and it blew my mind. I don't remember how old she was at the time, but she just had this edgy hour that had so much funny stuff in it, and she was so fearless. If you only watch her on the red carpet, you don't get a sense of what a legendary standup comedian she is.”

— Chelsea Peretti

“Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow.”

— Tobias Wolff

“I remember certain people in the audience laughing and I wanted to ask: 'What are you laughing at? This isn't funny.' Now I realize that laughter can come from insecurity. They don't know how they should be feeling.”

— Jim Dale

“I remember the feeling even now; an inescapable stickines of each other like magnets on the fridge. It's funny how someone can be such an integral part of your life, like you laugh at the same jokes and eat your ice cream cones the same way and share your toys and dreams and everything but your heartbeats, and then one day - nothing. You share nothing. It's like none of it ever happened.”

— Sarah Ockler

“It's funny - when I first started as an actor, obviously there were long periods of being idle and all you want to do is work. So if I ever get the compulsion to feel like I should complain or feel like I want to take a break, I just remember how I was before and be very grateful for it.”

— Neil Jackson

“Wait. Let me guess. You're giving me the cold shoulder, right?"
With that, she sighed. "Shouldn't you be with your friends, staring at yourselves in the mirror?"
He laughed. "That's funny. I'll have to remember that."
"I'm not being funny. I'm being serious."
"Oh, because we're so good-looking”

— Nicholas. Sparks

“Susan sighed. And you had to remember that Time probably wasn't time, in the same way that Death wasn't exactly the same as death and War wasn't exactly the same as war. She'd met War, a big fat man with an inappropriate sense of humor and a habit of repeating himself, and he certainly didn't personally attend every minor fracas. She disliked Pestilence, who gave her funny looks, and Famine was just wasted and weird. None of them ran their ... call it their discipline. They personified it.”

— Anonymous.

“It is funny that people always assume you have a bigger part in a movie than you actually do. I remember a lot of people thought 'Adventureland' starred me and Kristen Wiig. But we were like, 'No, we're only in the movie for like ten minutes!'”

— Bill Hader

“You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.”

— Rush Limbaugh

“[ ... ] You're not in love with anyone, are you?'
'No,' said Kay. 'Someone's in love with me, as it happens. A grand person, too ... But that's another secret. I'm thinking of the morphia, you see. I'm counting on your not being able to remember any of this.'
'Why is it a secret?'
'I promised the person it would be, that's all.'
'But you won't love him back?'
Kay smiled. 'You'd think I would, wouldn't you? But, isn't it funny-we never seem to love the people we ought to, I can't think why ...”

— Sarah Waters

“Some call-in moderators are neutral and courteous. Then there's Rush Limbaugh, who is funny and pompous and a scapegoater and hatemonger. His popularity could cause you to draw some terrible conclusions about the state of mind of the American people. It helps to remember that Bill Cosby is popular, too.”

— Donella Meadows

“You know what's funny about death? I mean other than absolutely nothing at all? You'd think we could remember finding out we weren't immortal. Sometimes I see children sobbing airports and I think, Aww. They've just been told.”

— Carrie Fisher

“Now keep in mind, memories aren't historical archives. They're-improvisations, really. A lot of the stuff you associate with a particular event might be factually wrong, no matter how clearly you remember it. The brain has a funny habit of building composites. Inserting details after the fact. But that's not to say your memories aren't true, okay? They're an honest reflection of how you saw the world, and every one of them went into shaping how you see it. But they're not photographs. More like impressionist paintings. Okay?”

— Peter Watts

“This could very easily be taken out of context, and I think it's funny now, but I remember looking in the mirror as a kid and, it would be like for an hour at a time, and I'd be like, 'I'm just so beautiful. Everybody is so lucky that they get to look at me.' And of course that changes as you get older, but I may have held on to that little-kid feeling that was me alone in my bathroom.”

— Lena Dunham

“You even used to make up funny stories about those poor little lost creatures of yours. Remember Bob, the squirrel banker who forgot to pay his electric bill so he froze to death?”

— Kimberly Derting

“That's the funny thing about writing your life story. You start out trying to remember dates and times and names. You think it's about facts, your life; that what you'll look back on and remember are the successes and failures, the time line of your youth and middle age, but that isn't it at all. Love. Family. Laughter. That's what I remember when it's all said and done.”

— Kristin Hannah

“The things you remember about a person when they're gone are funny. No two people will feel the same way, though usually it has to do with scent, or expression, the sound of a voice, an unusual gesture. For me, I can still see the colors of Keiko; the black of her hair against creamy pale skin, her dark blue kimono with white circles, the deep orange persimmons falling from the brown basket she carried. The ache in my heart grows larger every time I think of these colors, and how as each day passes they continue to fade from my eyes.”

— Gail Tsukiyama

“It's funny how you have to keep changing, or showing that you are capable of doing something different from people's expectations. People really only do remember you from the last thing you've done, or desperately want to put you into a position that they think you're capable of.”

— Dominic Cooper

“I don't like you two going off on you won. Just remember: behave. If I hear about any funny business, I will ground you until the Styx freezes over.”

— Rick Riordan

“The avant-garde theater is fun; it is free-wheeling, bold, iconoclastic, and often wildly, wildly funny. If you will approach it with childlike innocence
putting your standard responses aside, for they do not apply
if you will approach it on its own terms, I think you will be in for a liberating surprise. I think you may no longer be content with plays that you can't remember halfway down the block.”

— Edward Albee

“People are funny
they are able to project personality onto anything. I remember as a kid I spent a $ 5 bill once and felt so bad because the other $ 5 bill was now going to be lonely without all the other bills I had in my wallet, you just invest these dead things with life and that is our tendency as people. So animation takes advantage of that, grabs on to it, and runs with it.”

— Pete Docter

“I looked pretty crazy but at the time, you don't think anything of it. You think, "I've got an amazing job. I'm working and this is cool." I remember I was being fit to go to a premiere for something at Burberry and Christopher Bailey, who designs the clothes there, saw a picture of me and I looked weird. I had short black hair, hardly any eyebrows, I looked very very thin and he went, "We need to put Douglas in a campaign." So four days later, I was shooting a Burberry campaign because he had seen me looking crazy from the show so that was kind of funny.”

— Douglas Booth

“What's clarity like? Try to remember that funny feeling inside your head when you had math problems too difficult to solve: the faint buzzing noise in your ears, a heaviness on both sides of your skull, and the sensation that your brain is twitching inside your cranium like a fish on the beach. This is the opposite sensation of clarity. Yet for many people of my era, as they aged, this sensation became the dominant sensation of their lives. It was as though day-to-day twentieth century living had become an unsolvable algebraic equation.”

— Douglas Coupland

“You do remember things that people say in movies. You remember particular lines and things that are funny. But, you also remember really strong images. Images have a way of bypassing your brain and hitting you emotionally. There are so many things from movies that are remembered, that are just looks on people's faces or incredible vistas or beautiful pictures. That is a very important part of cinema.”

— Miranda Otto

“I just thought that a naked pregnant woman checking herself out would be so funny. I actually wish there was more of it. An actually, it was my idea to put it in, because I just remember being pregnant and just marveling at the hugeness of my body, like looking in the mirror from all angles. But that's something you do privately.”

— Jennifer Lopez

“It is important to remember when making jokes about women, that they are not a minority. They weren't captured on another continent and brought here in leg-irons (funny shoes, yes, but not leg-irons) and Hitler didn't blame them for Germany's loss in WWI. Therefore, you can make any kind of fun of them you want.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

“And identity is funny being yourself is funny as you are never yourself to yourself except as you remember yourself and then of course you do not believe yourself.”

— Gertrude Stein

“It's funny what you really see when you're the subject of the completely bizarre gossip magazine industry. It's just like, 'WHAT?!?' All this stuff with Emilie [de Ravin, his costar in Remember Me] as well. The tabloids say stuff like 'They went on a date to an Indian restaurant.' We were doing a scene! There's a film crew there!”

— Robert Pattinson