Bagel Quotes

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Bagel Quotes

My sister married a German. He complained he couldnt get a good bagel back home. I said: Well, whose fault is that?
— Emo Philips —

No, you're not like me. You're better. A better person, a better goddamn everything. Now, eat your breakfast. And if you open your mouth to say you aren't everything I know you are, I'll stuff that bagel in it. Plain. Without cream cheese.
Healthy food
the ultimate threat.

— Rob Thurman

A day unemployed is like a bagel- even when it's bad, it's still pretty good ...

— CrimethInc.

Paying attention is more important to reliability than moving slowly. Because he pays close attention, a Navy pilot can land a 40,000 lb. aircraft at 140 miles per hour on a pitching carrier deck, at night, more safely than the average teenager can cut a bagel.

— Paul Graham

A kind of emptiness existed in the center of my bagel; really
it was just the hole that's in the middle
of all bagels; 'i need to go read my blog
to find out what my politics are

— Tao Lin

I refused to believe that I'd gone from sane to full-blown delusional in one night. After some consideration, I determined I didn't have any other crazy thoughts. I didn't think I was Napoleon, or that my bagel was an alien, and I didn't have voices in my head warning me about terrorist plots. Near as I could tell, I was still on the right side of sane.

— Eileen Cook

If I were to be honest, I'm probably fifty percent bagel. Okay, fine, sixty percent.

— Christy Hall

Over the next few days, every knowing glance and furtive look reminded me how much small towns loved to gossip. My mother delighted me each day by telling me what she'd heard. I'd pushed Leo behind a snap pea display at the farmers' market and wrestled him to the ground. I'd offered him my bagel repeatedly, refusing to take no for an answer. I'd been seen out behind the market, helping him load up his vegetables and been caught holding his cucumber. That was my favorite.

— Alice Clayton

Before I eat your bagel, we should be formally introduced, don't you think?

— Alice Clayton

A bagel shop isn't the most romantic spot to tell a girl you like her. But that night romance wasn't the priority. Our time there wasn't intended to be mushy. I didn't propose marriage or say I was madly in love with her, and she didn't swoon.
What I did tell her was that through our friendship I'd grown to respect her.

— Joshua Harris

Always eat the bagel.

— Cassandra Clare

I'll eat the hell out of a bagel. That's what I do

— Jade Puget

Romanians have a saying, 'Not every dog has a bagel on its tail.' It means that not all streets are paved with gold. When I began my career, I just wanted to do cartwheels.

— Nadia Comaneci

The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!

— George Carlin

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