Jay McInerney Quotes: Im About To Take A Shower Because I

I'm About To Take A Shower Because I Smell Like An All-nighter, Then I Think I'll Take A Bath So I Can Have A Faucet Orgasm. After All, I Didn't Get Any Last Night. A Faucet Orgasm Is Pretty Much The Same Principle As A Bidet Orgasm Except Upside-down. When We Were Growing Up We Had Bidets In All The Bathrooms And When I Was About Ten I Accidentally Discovered One Of The Things They Were Good For. After That I Used To Spend Hours On The Damn Thing. This Dump We Rent Doesn't Have A Bidet So I Have To Get In The Tub And Slide Up Toward The Front, Running My Legs Up The Wall On Either Side Of The Faucet. Turn On The Warm Water And Smile. Actually, You've Got To Get The Water Temperature Just Right First Or You Could Really Be In For A Nasty Shock. I've Made That Mistake A Few Times. This Time I Get It Just Right And I Come Three Times Before I Get Around To Actually Taking A Bath.
— Jay McInerney —

Related Authors

Related Topics