Z.A. Maxfield Quotes

“I think it's romantic," she said mostly to Edward. "Cursed to live their lives in the shadows, to be together only under the cover of darkness ... hiding their love from the sunlight."
"They're gay, honey," said Emma, "not vampires.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

Dear Lord," began Randy, who paused for long enough that Tristan sneaked an eye open to look at him. His saw his mother's cheek twitch with what he thought might be apprehension. "We are so grateful to be gathered here today with our family, and the family of our brother's homosexual boyfriend, and our new little goth friend who has a gay dad, whatever the heck that is all about. We'd like to say we're grateful this year for condoms, lube, and Ellen Degeneres, and for those guys on Queer Eye ... "
Randall Evan Phillips!" his mother shouted.

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Yamane reached out a hand. "You've got something on your lip," he murmured, rubbing it gently with his thumb.
"What?" Rory froze
"Me," said Yamane, closing the distance for a kiss.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“It's like I have no idea who I am anymore," said Tristan. "Who the hell was that?"
"I don't know, but he's like ... the porn fairy ... and I'm not letting him get away.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“I'm so sorry," said Kevin. "So selfish. I'm actually totally selfish, but I've been trying to cut back.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Damn straight" said Connor. " So yeah, I look at you and I could suck start a leaf blower, or drill a Kevin-shaped body hole into the wall, like a cartoon.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

I grew up on a working ranch, and there was way too much to do."
"You what? A working ranch? Like ... a cowboy?"
Cam rolled his eyes. "I guess."
"You're a cowboy and a fireman?"
"Yes, Daniel," Cam said dryly. "It's almost as if I am half of the Village People, all rolled into one.

— Z.A. Maxfield

What can I say? Love is blind," said Rory, sitting down next to Yamane. "Yamane here is the acknowledged world master of queer fu."
"Oh, no, you did not just say that." Yamane shot him a sour look and drank the last of Rory's beer.

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Maybe she was a little dark but she sort of sparkled with it.
Jacob about Muse”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“That was Genus Homo, species Whowantstofuckus, subspecies Headup Hisassia. Let us move on to the cages with the interesting animals.
Jacob to Ben describing JT”

— Z.A. Maxfield

Ken brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. I'd been paying so much attention to Ken, I didn't know what happened during the game. I don't think anyone cared too much what the outcome was after Ken's at bat.
"Do you know who won?" I asked Cooper, who automatically translated into sign language for Shawn.
Shawn laughed his odd laugh and signed something back. He looked at Ken, who had an arm wrapped possessively around my waist.
Cooper grinned. "Shawn says it looks like you did, Jordie.

— Z.A. Maxfield

He was a reporter for The Adversary. It was his job to stalk people. He was one step above paparazzi and a couple below common variety garden snake.
- Jae-Sun Fields, pg. 28

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Because just being
around you makes me so fucking happy, you airhead. I
like you. I want you. I see my unborn children in your
eyes-okay scratch that one. I swear to fuck I'm not
being flip here." I sighed. "What my heart does
whenever you're near isn't just about chemistry Cam.
It's like ... stargazing. I feel insignificant and dazzled.
Hopeful yet completely unprepared.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

But first, I want the pleasure of telling you that you are fired. I fire you. I fire you and all your relatives. I fire your ancestors and your descendants. I fire the very air you breathe and the ground you walk upon.

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Well, now that I'm thoroughly and diligently queer, I expected more manly love-talk, you know? Not like Pretty Baby and feeding you grapes and stuff," he snorted.
"Uh, you mean like, hey you bastard I don't have a beer and nobody's sucking my dick, what's wrong with this picture?”

— Z.A. Maxfield

I didn't despise myself for being who I was, and I never would. I wouldn't allow anyone to make me feel bad about that. That was a line I could draw in the sand.

— Z.A. Maxfield

“I could lose my uterus and appendix today and miss my appendix more. - Kate”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Yamane leaned over until he was right in Rory's face. "Being with me isn't sweet and romantic. I like it messy, desperate, and sometimes even a little painful."
Rory digested this. He felt something unwind deep inside him. As if he were detached from it, he allowed it to uncoil slowly, building up a pressure of anger and frustration ...
"My kidneys are bleeding, my ribs are broken, and I'm loaded with painkillers. If you Google messy and desperate, you'll find a picture of me.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“When we get home, I'll make you some soup or something."
"God. Don't be nice."
"All right." Jeff spoke softly into the darkness. "When we get home, I'll make some soup, and when you're not looking, I'll spit in it.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Breast feeding is a good thing. I promise you that's not what made you gay. "
" I know that, men did that. And penises.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Are you gay?" asked Michael with a sigh. "Is that your truth?" "Mmmhmm," Tristan said into the night. "Yep. Totally gay. And I'm apparently a chick too, because here we are, talking instead of screwing.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Ask me again, Tristan read on his cell phone.
Ask what? he sent back.
Why I call you Sparky. Michael fumbled with the keys, not looking up.
Well, sure, why? Tristan sent back.
You light me up, came the answer, and Tristan's nimble fingers stopped on the keys. He stared hard at the small screen on his phone, the text message right there, waiting to see if he would send a reply. He just sat and stared till his phone turned off, unable to look up into the oh-so-blue eyes of the man who had sent it.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“I think I kind of like the idea of you all cold and wet."
"Oh right, I'll be at my best; no visible balls, and a dick that looks like a Chiclet ... "
"I can fix that," laughed Connor.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Sorry," said Tristan. "No can do, I've used up all my infidelity tolerance minutes this month.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Whoever had covered our sidewalk with seals and signs apparently had an ax to grind, but I wasn't worried. Whatever they wanted, I wasn't about to let it get to me.
Nothing could feel quite so benign as a warm spring day in St. Nacho's.
So ... For some unknown-and probably unknowable-reason, the Witches of Westwick were trying to freak me out. I blew out a long, thin stream of smoke and grinned.
Cool. - Daniel Livingston”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“But so far he's stayed so deep in the closet, they're going to crown him king of Narnia.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“That?" I glanced back to the door where JT had disappeared. "That was Genus Homo, species Whowantstofuckus, subspecies Closeted Headup Hisassia. Let us move on to the cages with the interesting animals."
Jacob "Yasha" Livingston”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Tristan started the car, pulling carefully out onto the street now that the snow had begun to fall.
"You seemed so happy this last quarter," P.K. prompted.
"I was. I fell in love."
"And?"
"It didn't work out
isn't working out." Tristan shook his head. "I'm not ready."
"Ah," said P.K. They drove the rest of the way in silence. Tristan thought then that he was lucky; Jonathon and Daniel didn't know how to value a silence, but P.K. made it comfortable. He was glad he was here with P.K. and not alone in the unbearable silence of snow.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“I'm too old to be your adolescent experiment."
Rory called back, "I'm too old to be an experimenting adolescent."
Drawn Together”

— Z.A. Maxfield

I never had a gay son." Stu gave an overly dramatic sniff. "But if I did, I'd want him to go to the city for dinner with a boy just like you."
Petey slapped his back. "And don't forget all that sex they'll have afterwards."
"Oh, yeah." Stu nodded. "If only my fictitious gay son could get as lucky as Lucho is gonna get tonight. That's all a man could ask for.

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Yes John and I were together for nearly ten years. It was nice for a long time. I worked for Oldmanston and Pheiff, one of LA's big ad agencies. He and I bought a loft in one of the downtown renovations. Very Pricey. I had a studio. It was all very Queer as Folk.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“I can assure you, as anyone who has ever met a muse knows, the best way to get a muse to hang around is to show you could be having fun without her.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Experimenting with touch, he found he barely had to ripple a light fingertip over his sleeping lover, and Tristan would move, twisting until he was melted into Michael's embrace. Stroking Tristan's cheek got Michael a sleepy kiss. Touching Tristan's back or sliding a hand down his spine earned Michael the satisfying squeeze of arms around him. And squeezing Tristan's ass got him a fully awake and erect boy-toy looking for love.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

It did occur to Tristan that this might not be the sanest moment of his life, but he couldn't allow lack of information or common sense to get in the way of true desperation

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Life is full of things that can kill me, you vampire m*****f****r, and you sure as shit can just get in line!
Dr. Adin Tredeger”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Stay where you are, Amil" "We're supposed to be normal people."
"Good luck with that," Amil muttered as Jeff got out and turned to help Nigel.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“There ought to be a law that a guy has to leave a rose on your pillow to let you know he enjoyed the labor you put into his walk of shame.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Brendan shuddered. Honestly? I'm not sure I can say Dirk without laughing. A less Dirk-like person could not exist. Who named you? Clive Cussler? Dirk Melovitch.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Why'd you go and have to have a straight boy crush?"
"We all do. That's how fairies get their wings.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Something settled inside me then, a deep serenity, the kind I thought I would get from rehab, but didn't. It wasn't S ... He was part of the picture, but I knew better than to expect someone to fill my empty spaces. I thought it might have been the act of standing in one place long enough to look around. I was taking stock in St. Nacho's, making a new list of what I didn't want and, maybe more importantly, what I did”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“I liked laughing, I found out, and music. I liked nice people, getting up early, and working hard. I liked simple pleasures, like my toes in the sand and someone to kiss.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Tad Christopher in the Tango kitchen with real whipped cream?" "Sounds like Gay Clue, doesn't it?”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Adin looked up at Donte, who was then in the middle of taking a sip of his wine. He took in Donte's demonically beautiful face, long and angular, with its hooded eyes and high cheekbones, its wine-darkened lips. He watched as Donte savored it, imagining the warmth of the wine on the inside of Donte's mouth and against his tongue. He could almost feel it as it slid down the column of Donte's throat, teasing his Adam's apple into a subtle bob, and suddenly Adin was the wine, slipping down that throat, and just as inexplicably, Adin felt Donte's mouth on him everywhere at once, biting ... licking ... sucking. Adin's breath sped up; his skin warmed with the beginnings of a flush brought on by arousal.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“We all suffer disappointments. Our job as Christians is to love one another and that includes people who disappoint us.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“It was a beautiful, clear Southern California kind of Christmas Eve, the kind where Santa shows up in khaki shorts and a Hawaiian shirt and shades, flashing a peace sign with one hand and sipping a Corona with the other.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“This is like teaching queer remedial at the continuation high school. You were fishing, and you caught me. Don't you get that?"
"Oh, hell no." Tristan just stared.”

— Z.A. Maxfield

“Kelly closed his eyes and began to bargain with God.”

— Z.A. Maxfield