Sonali Deraniyagala Quotes

“I am in the unthinkable situation that people cannot bear to contemplate.”

— Sonali Deraniyagala

“Their promise, my children's possibilities, still linger in our home.”

— Sonali Deraniyagala

“I would plead into the darkness, where are they, bring them back”

— Sonali Deraniyagala

“And as the wind gusted against those windows, I saw how, in an instant, I lost my shelter. This truth had hardly escaped me until then, far from it, but the clarity of that moment was overwhelming. And I am still shaking.”

— Sonali Deraniyagala

“Seven years on, and their absence has expanded. Just as our life would have in this time, it has swelled.”

— Sonali Deraniyagala

“I steer clear of telling. I can't come out with it; the outlandish truth of me. How can I reveal this to someone innocent and unsuspecting? With those who know my story I talk freely about us ... but with others I keep it hidden, the truth. I keep it under wraps because I don't want to shock or make anyone distressed ... I try to keep a distance from those who are innocent of my reality. At best I am vague. I feel deceitful at times, but I can't just drop it on someone, I feel. It's too horrifying, too huge.”

— Sonali Deraniyagala

I was terrified that tomorrow the truth would start.

— Sonali Deraniyagala

My boys. I don't have them to hold. What do I do with my arms?

— Sonali Deraniyagala

I think I also don't confess because I am still so unbelieving of what happened. I am still aghast. I stun myself each time I retell the truth to myself, let alone to someone else. So I am evasive in order to spare myself ... I can see though that my secrecy does me no favors. It probably makes worse my sense of being outlandish. It confirms to me that it might be abhorrent, my story, or that few can relate to it.

— Sonali Deraniyagala

“Maybe it is not so overwhelming after all, to dissolve the divide between now and then.”

— Sonali Deraniyagala

“Their voices have doubled in strength now, not faded with time. Their chatter plays with my thoughts no end. And I am sustained by this, it gives me spark.”

— Sonali Deraniyagala

“There must be some atom of our life hidden here, lingering in this quiet somewhere.”

— Sonali Deraniyagala

“I was held for a few moments in the coherence and safety of the life we had, when so much seemed predictable.”

— Sonali Deraniyagala

How hideous, that there should be a pecking order in my grief.

— Sonali Deraniyagala