Sheila Turnage Quotes

My heart leaped like the cheerleader I will never be.

— Sheila Turnage

“I never forgive. I like revenge too much.”

— Sheila Turnage

You what?" Dale yelped, looking like I'd handed him something dead. "You ain't writing during summer vacation, are you? I'm pretty sure that's against the rules.

— Sheila Turnage

We can't change the past, Soldier. We can only be grateful for the life of a new day, and move on.

— Sheila Turnage

Dale can't tolerate other people throwing up. He gets what's known as the Synchronized Heaves.

— Sheila Turnage

“Except for that, everything's going great. Well ... there's been a murder and we're out of soup.”

— Sheila Turnage

It's never too late to make a better decision

— Sheila Turnage

“I'm Baptist. So far, Fast or Never is the only speeds I got with forgiving.”

— Sheila Turnage

“As I watched them together, my earth found its axis and my stars found their sky.”

— Sheila Turnage

“Yes ma'am," I said, "Anna Celeste's party is Saturday, but I don't need a ride ... No ma'am. It's because Anna Celeste is my Sworn Enemy for Life and I'd rather go face-down in a plate of raw chicken entrails than go to her party. Plus I'm not invited ...”

— Sheila Turnage

“Dale's family is like that. Let the Law come within twenty yards of them, and every male over the age of six
uncles, brother, father, cousins
starts lying his fool head off. Dale says it's genetic. Miss Lana says that's poppycock.”

— Sheila Turnage

For me, it was a Gold Star day. I'd identified an enemy, and I'd made a life decision: I might come home tore up from fighting or late from being punished, but I'd never come home crying. So far, I ain't.

— Sheila Turnage

“The Colonel says all attorneys should be named for blood sucking insects so we know up front who we are dealing with.”

— Sheila Turnage

“Dale can choose not to worry like he chooses not to wear socks.”

— Sheila Turnage

“You don't have a plan, do you? I knew it," he said, his eyes filling with tears. "I knew not to come to a ghost farm with you during a hurricane.”

— Sheila Turnage

“In that instant, your billboard careened ashore on a wall of water, cracking the back of my head. I reached for balance and touched what I thought was a puppy. Then you grabbed my finger. My God, I thought. It's a baby. I fainted dead away. That's how Macon found us the next day - me unconscious on half a billboard, you nestled in my arms, nursing on the pocket of my uniform. The half billboard said: " ... Cafe ... Proprietor." Our path seemed clear.
I will always love your mother for letting you go, Soldier, and I will always love you for holding on.
Love, the Colonel.
PS: I apologize for naming you Moses. I didn't know you were a girl until it was too late.”

— Sheila Turnage

“We got peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and raisins, and a delicate peanut butter/peanut butter combination. These come crunchy or smooth, on Wonder Bread, hand-squished flat on the plate or not, as you prefer. The special today is our famous peanut butter and banana sandwich. It comes on Wonder Bread, cut diagonal on the plate, with crust or without. What can I start you with?”

— Sheila Turnage

“Is it true, then, Mayor?" Grandmother Miss Lacy Thornton warbled from the end of the counter. "Is Jesse Tatum officially dead?"
"Dead is such an unflattering term," he said, sliding onto his stool. "I prefer to think of Jesse as ... passe."
The Azalea Women gasped.
"What's passe mean?" Tinks Williams asked the Colonel, his voice low.
"Dead," the Colonel said, refilling Tink's iced tea.”

— Sheila Turnage

“They found Mr. Jesse in a boat?" I asked. "I'm wondering if maybe he just up and died. Maybe there ain't no murder. Like the fish weren't biting and he died of boredom. It happens. Boredom kills. I've had close brushes myself, during math.”

— Sheila Turnage

“The truth is like Spandex ... It may not look like a good fit at first, but if you ease into it and wiggle around, it winds up fitting your skin.”

— Sheila Turnage

“Dale is Baptist. He doesn't worry about much in life, but he worries about the devil afterwards.”

— Sheila Turnage

“That's how we lose people ... detail by detail, day by day, until they're pale, pale memories.”

— Sheila Turnage

“If you like old cars detective, eastern North Carolina is perfect for you" he said smoothing his tie. "We have oodles of vintage vehicles around here, don't we Colonel? In fact I like to think of them as one of poverty's little perks.”

— Sheila Turnage

“Anger can corrode most anything if it sits still long enough.”

— Sheila Turnage

“Waltz across lifetimes with me
Spin through the stars in my arms
When I look in your eyes
I know love never dies
Please waltz through these lifetimes with me.
Drift down life's river with me
Inhale the moon's secret charms
We know love never dies
as we say our good-byes
Please waltz beyond heartbreak with me.”

— Sheila Turnage

“Some people look like they were born on a clothes hanger. Not me. I look more like I was born in a dryer.”

— Sheila Turnage