Penny Reid Quotes

“Boy bands are sent by God to aid women of all ages in their quest to avoid reality, but specifically to trick young women into believing that males think about topics other than sex.”

— Penny Reid

I was determined to stay off the see-saw of crazy

— Penny Reid

“We fought over the bill when it came. By fought I mean: I insisted loudly on paying half and he responded with beleaguered silence. Instead of discussing it or attempting to engage in my one-sided conversation, he wordlessly put his credit card in the holder; he kept it carefully out of my reach as I continued to list all the reasons we should split the check, not the least of which was that we'd agreed earlier that this was not a date,
then handed it stealthily to the waiter as he passed. I was still oblivious, making my case, when Quinn signed the receipt."Wait- what are you doing?" I looked from him to the paper slip.Silence. Scribble. Silence. "Did you just sign that? Was that the check?" My voiced hitched, my eyes wide with pseudo outrage. He glanced up at me, something like mock innocence lighting his features, and said, "I'm sorry. Did you want to split that?”

— Penny Reid

“Over the years I'd learned absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder. The heart becomes wary, somnolent and cynical during periods of prolonged absence, burdened with cares and fears borne in solitude. However, absence does make the body greedy and irrationally amorous with frustrated need.”

— Penny Reid

“When I was younger, I wanted plenty of things, plenty of people, until I realized there was no point in wanting. Since then, I've never had something I wanted, not really. Not 'til you.”

— Penny Reid

“The protector inside me was frowning while the predator soaked up her discomfort with glee.”

— Penny Reid

I didn't tell her, because I didn't think it would help, but all people are lost, to varying degrees. I suspected that it's only when we love others-through purpose, friendship, romance, or any combination thereof-that we become found.

— Penny Reid

“Ashley,
I caught a bear today in the new trap. We're taking it a hundred miles north. That's a hundred miles closer to where you are. I've decided units and measurements of distance are bullshit. With you there are only two distances that matter:
Here.
Not here.
You are not here.
- Drew”

— Penny Reid

“He was hot like lava and sexy like cake. Wait, like lava cake. Yum.”

— Penny Reid

“You took one commercial flight, Steven. One." "Shhh!" he pressed his finger to his lips and loud whispered, "He'll hear you." I glanced to my right and left. "Who will hear me?" "Manuel, the plane.”

— Penny Reid

“I was planning to sort my comic books based on level of second wave feminist influence." "As opposed to first wave?" "Yes, well, Susan B. Anthony laid the foundation for those who have come after. It's all really interrelated but she didn't have direct influence over late twentieth century comics.”

— Penny Reid

Kaitlyn Parker has popped Martin Sandeke's spooning cherry." I felt his smile grow just before he said, "It's only fair. I hope to pop your forking cherry.

— Penny Reid

“Because you scratched my itch and then you kissed me-both of which freaked me out because neither of which are in the course syllabus for laboratory experiments this semester. And, furthermore-”

— Penny Reid

Think of how much better the world would be if people craved compliments about the beauty of their heart rather than the beauty of their face. The

— Penny Reid

“Everything is temporary, Duane. This," he gestured to our surroundings, "this is temporary. Even mountains fall. Nothing lasts forever. You got a chance at happiness, even for a week, a month, a year? You grab it and you hold on to it for as long as it lasts.”

— Penny Reid

“The beauty of human relationships is sharing burdens?" "More or less. But burdens don't grow lighter if both people are contributing equally. Life isn't a fifty-fifty split, that's just being lazy. Burdens are weightless, worlds change, and love endures when both people are contributing their maximum.”

— Penny Reid

“Stop it." Cletus snapped his fingers in front of our faces. "I hate it when you two mind-meld through your eyeballs.”

— Penny Reid

“I'd kiss you but I don't want our beards to tangle.”

— Penny Reid

“You can't just go around giving people cars. You're not Oprah.”

— Penny Reid

There will be no bananas!" "There will be entire tropical rainforests of bananas! And coconuts!" I gestured to my breasts. "And, hopefully, bananas rubbing against coconuts.

— Penny Reid

“That was also weird. Everything was weird."
"Stop using the word weird. You do your vocabulary no justice.”

— Penny Reid

“DEDICATION To my computer: I couldn't have written this without you To the software developers responsible for spellcheck: You are my everyday heroes To Karen: I hope this makes you laugh and makes you proud. To my readers (all 3 of you): Thank you”

— Penny Reid

“When did you know?"
I watched him take a breath, and with it all pretense fell away. All his walls, all his cleverness, all his grandstanding and pretending. He looked vulnerable, and it made my chest ache.
"When I saw you ...”

— Penny Reid

“You're a movie star. A celebrity with millions of fans."
"And you're a wildlife ranger who traps giant, dangerous black bears for a living and acts like it's no big deal. Tell me that doesn't sound like a heaping helping of crazy, with bizarre gravy, and a slice of mashed loco for Cocoa Puffs.”

— Penny Reid

“Duct tape is man's answer to electrons and protons. It's how we keep matter together.”

— Penny Reid

“Why do you love it? I had a sense that I would enjoy her answer. I knew it would be unexpected and unique. Everything about her was unexpected and unique. She was my bright light of eccentricity in a very predictable and ordinary world. She made everything new and interesting or funny.”

— Penny Reid

“I love you wildly, madly, completely, Fiona Archer," he growled, then groaned on a broken breath. "I love you always.”

— Penny Reid

“He growled, "Say it. Spend the week with me."
I moaned, because ... aroused.”

— Penny Reid

You should have me there as your representative to make sure he doesn't try to zap you with his sexy ray."
"Zap me with his sexy ray?"
"You know what I'm talking about. I barely saw him and I'm feeling the effects. He's like an ... electromagnetic pulse of sexy or something. So does his friend, Eric. They shouldn't be allowed in public."
"That's not how electromagnets work."
"Whatever. You get my point.

— Penny Reid

I grinned at Jessica James's backside as she walked away because she had a big old brown grease stain on the left side of her skirt where I'd palmed her ass.
"Damn, Duane, you got big hands."Cletus sauntered up next to me, wiping his own hands on a rag.
My grin became a frown and I shot my brother a look. "Don't be looking at Jess's ass."
I'm not looking at her ass. I remind you sir, she is my calculus teacher." Cletus lifted his chin toward Jessica's departing form. "I'm looking at the palm print on her ass.

— Penny Reid

His pasty, white wang. Gross.

— Penny Reid

I didn't want to be peed on.

— Penny Reid

“Yep. His epic good looks without succumbing to the adorable label had made him a man-unicorn in my mind. Or a merman. Or a Loch Ness Monstman. He was a mystical creature.”

— Penny Reid

“On one hand, I think it's natural to be curious about sexuality. But on the other hand, I think girls are caught in this terrible net of perpetual disappointment. We're not really allowed to talk about sex, or ask questions about it, or be interested in it. If we are interested and if we like it, then we're labeled as easy or sluts. If we're not interested, then we're frigid and repressed ... we're prudes. It's like, we see images of women being objectified everywhere. And then we're told to act and dress like a man at work and school, or else no one will take us seriously-even other women won't take us seriously. Basically, women are fucked."
"That's depressing.”

— Penny Reid

“Duane, you remember when we were kids? And we used to argue about everything? I mean, it didn't matter what it was. If I said the sky was blue you would say it was purple."
"Sometimes the sky is purple. Right now it's indigo, almost black. You can't just make a unilateralstatement that the sky is blue."
"See? This is what I'm talking about”

— Penny Reid

“Can we discuss this after the wedding?"
"No."
Damn. It was worth a shot.
"Fine." I glanced around the car. How does one ask for privacy in the back of a limo occupied by eight observers? To their credit, my friends did their best impression of quality assurance engineers, checking the seat cushions for stitch durability and picking lint from the carpet.”

— Penny Reid

Undies on, undies on, high ho the dairy-o, I'm going to keep my undies on!

— Penny Reid

“A beautiful man is the devil's most potent weapon.”

— Penny Reid

“I scoffed, enjoying myself far too much, my heart and stomach fluttering together, in cahoots like squealing fangirls.”

— Penny Reid

“Why'd he pull you over, Duane?" This question came from Billy.
"He's an idiot. He said my tail light was out."
"Is your tail light out?"
"Yes. But he's still an idiot.”

— Penny Reid

“It's just one of those things people talk about. Like, if you could have a superpower, what would it be?"
"I'd like to be able to fly," Cletus responded as though her question had been asked in earnest.
"Not be invisible? Or read minds? Or be omniscient?" Roscoe suggested.
Cletus shook his head. "Certainly not. That'd be redundant because I'm already all of those things."
"Then make it rain blueberries," Roscoe teased.”

— Penny Reid

“I once tried being dramatic when I was fourteen. My mother told me to add it to the calendar.”

— Penny Reid

Tell me what you need," he said between raining soft kisses against my hair, temple, and cheek. "I'll do anything for you.

— Penny Reid

“Sandra."
"Thomas, I ... ."
"You called." He sounded concerned.
"Yes, I ... ."
"Why are you calling? Are you harmed?"
"No ... ."
"Are you rescheduling our Saturday lunch?"
"No ... ."
"Is this an emergency?"
"Stop asking questions and just listen."
"Why are you calling?"
I sighed, rolled my eyes. This was why I never called Thomas. "I need your help."
"Do you need money?"
"Thomas, I swear, if you ask me another question, I will secretly switch your caffeinated with decaf during Saturday lunch at least three times over the next six months."
I could tell he was thinking about my threat, weighing it against the compulsion of his curiosity. Belatedly he said, "Proceed”

— Penny Reid

“His features, shaping into something resembling dumbfounded astonishment, were cast in a warm glow from a shaded nearby lamp.
He looked earnestly surprised and a little boyish. Smash, smash, smash.
His mesmerizing eyes narrowed as they looked over my now completely covered form, the only skin showing was that of my face and hands. If I'd been thinking clearly and sober I might have felt ridiculous; instead, as I was most definitely not thinking clearly and was most definitely not sober, I was cursing myself for leaving my gloves in Chicago and I was looking for my glasses.
He shifted on his feet, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and studied me with open and growing amusement; Are you going somewhere?”

— Penny Reid

“I kept my attention fixed on Quinn, blinked twice so he would come into focus,”

— Penny Reid

“Settle your feathers, crusty britches. We”

— Penny Reid

“Jethro had been the disappointment.
I'd been the clown.
Individually we had become more.
But together and with each other, we didn't need to be our labels.
We were free to just be ourselves.”

— Penny Reid

“I was never one of those girls who could go comfortably braless; there was too much jiggle in my wiggle.”

— Penny Reid

“Women were more than the status of their hymen or their dress size.”

— Penny Reid