Maria Bamford Quotes

Enjoy the top 61 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Maria Bamford.

Maria Bamford Quotes

I was raised in Duluth, Minnesota, where you never say that youre cold, or that youre suffering, and you listen politely to people, even if you disagree with them completely. Then you say passive-aggressive things later.
— Maria Bamford —

If you stay alive for no reason at all, please do it for spite.

— Maria Bamford

Schizophrenia is hearing voices, not doing voices.

— Maria Bamford

People get really irritated by mental illness.

— Maria Bamford

I was raised in Duluth, Minnesota, where you never say that you're cold, or that you're suffering, and you listen politely to people, even if you disagree with them completely. Then you say passive-aggressive things later.

— Maria Bamford

It's always the compliments from people you love that mean so much.

— Maria Bamford

Get out of your house and go see some live performance, for God's sake. There are people creating things just outside your window.

— Maria Bamford

My mom is very structured. She gets up, she does her prayers, and she eats her oatmeal with blueberries and Greek yogurt, and she has her prayer list, and she doesn't worry too much about things.

— Maria Bamford

I've learned from my pets that it's okay to sit around, and people don't love you any less if you sit around all the time. In fact they might love you more, 'cos they always know where you're always going to be: you're always going to be laying in bed.

— Maria Bamford

I have trouble watching singers because they are so sincere.

— Maria Bamford

I love support groups, people talking about their feelings.

— Maria Bamford

I thought that when you have more success that you'd feel more buoyed or feel more confident. But in fact my brain has the gift of switching it around and saying, 'Now people are expecting something. Now you're really going to let people down.'

— Maria Bamford

My dad actually had business cards made up with my sister's website and my website and all of our information. And he hands them out to people he meets.

— Maria Bamford

My dad has some depressive issues, and he's really tough on himself. So sometimes he can say things that are not super supportive. Like once I did a set, and he says, 'Sheesh, no wonder you're still single.' I was like, 'Eight ball, corner pocket, dad.'

— Maria Bamford

My therapist says I'm afraid of success. I guess I could understand that, because after all, fulfilling my potential would REALLY cut into my sitting-around time

— Maria Bamford

I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too.

— Maria Bamford

I feel bad about that, that I worship celebrities ... but their moods create weather.

— Maria Bamford

The thing that keeps the thoughts coming back is the power that you put in the thought that you can't think of it.

— Maria Bamford

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