Jonas Eriksson Quotes

“Don't write to sell, write to tell.”

— Jonas Eriksson

“Believe in human beings - not all are good, but deep down all can be. But that doesn't mean you need to hang around crappy people and try to turn them around.”

— Jonas Eriksson

“You are so beautiful, I could eat you, he said.
And it was true. Her smile was as intoxicating as the wine.
And he could eat her.”

— Jonas Eriksson

“Be the kind of person who catches the shit before it hits the fan, not the one who scrapes it off afterwards.”

— Jonas Eriksson

“Terry loved candlelight dinners and red wine. It was a nice contrast from work.
And killing people.”

— Jonas Eriksson

“My view on feng shui: don't put your bed in front of your door because you won't get in.”

— Jonas Eriksson

“If you appreciate the small things, you're likely to get the big ones.”

— Jonas Eriksson

“Make life easier by living in the present and believing in the future.”

— Jonas Eriksson

He was a strange mix of Heinrich Himmler and Barney the Dinosaur.

— Jonas Eriksson

“You sick bastard," she said.
"Yes, I guess you could call me that." Terry replied.”

— Jonas Eriksson

“There is one word I can't stand and it's ASAP and that's not even a word.”

— Jonas Eriksson

I have no excuse, neither real nor invented so I let my platinum express do the talking instead.

— Jonas Eriksson

“The first clear thought I have is that I have to stop thinking with my penis. It always points me into trouble.”

— Jonas Eriksson

I want to employ tough people, people who know what they want and how to get it. Virgins must have a pretty poor track record of that.

— Jonas Eriksson

“You have really nice teeth, Terry said and thought they could be excellent for his collection of human body parts.”

— Jonas Eriksson

The only thing which really seemed to pay off in life, if you went by Mary Pedersen's example, was sleeping with your superiors.

— Jonas Eriksson

Some people like milk, but I would never drink anything you have to stroke out of an animal.

— Jonas Eriksson

“The hotel is not happy with me breaking a 2000-dollar TV. For a second I feel like a rock star, but that's just a second because then I feel like a psycho again.”

— Jonas Eriksson

“Stay humble as a writer: write on toilet paper.”

— Jonas Eriksson

“It's not great when your husband thinks the only guy who can talk to you, is some other guy.”

— Jonas Eriksson

“Agent Julianne was always looking for ways to spin things. She would have been better off owning a laundromat.”

— Jonas Eriksson

“I guess all my afternoon beers and burgers were catching up with me, which made me want to scream THEN WHY NOT MY HAIR!?”

— Jonas Eriksson