Jimmy Carr Quotes

Enjoy the top 93 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Jimmy Carr.

Jimmy Carr Quotes

You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
— Jimmy Carr —

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

— Jimmy Carr

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.

— Jimmy Carr

More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.

— Jimmy Carr

You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.

— Jimmy Carr

A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.

— Jimmy Carr

You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.

— Jimmy Carr

The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.

— Jimmy Carr

My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.

— Jimmy Carr

I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it

— Jimmy Carr

How many airports are there in the world?

— Jimmy Carr

Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.

— Jimmy Carr

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

— Jimmy Carr

I'm not worried about the Third World War. That's the Third World's Problem.

— Jimmy Carr

Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.

— Jimmy Carr

Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!

— Jimmy Carr

I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.

— Jimmy Carr

I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"

— Jimmy Carr

Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.

— Jimmy Carr

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