Frank Carson Quotes

Enjoy the top 43 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Frank Carson.

Frank Carson Quotes

Doctor told me Ive got two weeks to live. I said: "Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?"
— Frank Carson —

I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

— Frank Carson

So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'.

— Frank Carson

Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?

— Frank Carson

The thirties were troublesome in Belfast, and then of course there was no work for people, and it was terribly religiously divided.

— Frank Carson

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

— Frank Carson

I asked a shop owner if he could help me out. He said: "What way did you come in?"

— Frank Carson

A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."

— Frank Carson

A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: "Sorry, you've only got three minutes to live." The man said: "Can you do something for me?" "Yes," he said. "I'll boil you an egg."

— Frank Carson

It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

— Frank Carson

My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.

— Frank Carson

Frank Carson Quotes Pictures

Want to see more pictures of Frank Carson quotes? Click on image of Frank Carson quotes to view full size.

Frank Carson Quotes Pictures 1
Frank Carson Quotes Pictures 2
Frank Carson Quotes Pictures 3
Frank Carson Quotes Pictures 4