Dossie Easton Quotes

“The real test of love is when a person-including you-can know your weaknesses, your stupidities and your smallnesses, and still love you.”

— Dossie Easton

“One remedy for the fear of not being loved is to remember how good it feels to love someone. If you're feeling unloved and you want to feel better, go love someone, and see what happens.”

— Dossie Easton

“It felt so wonderful that she concluded that the existence of her clitoris was proof positive that God loved her.”

— Dossie Easton

“The cultural ban on having sex with your friends is an inevitable offshoot of a societal belief that the only acceptable reason to have sex is to lead to a monogamous marriagelike relationship.”

— Dossie Easton

“A lot of people describe having sex with only one person as 'being faithful'.
It seems to me that faithfulness has very little to do with who you have sex with.
Faithfulness is about honoring your commitments and respecting your friends and lovers, about caring for their well-being as well as your own.”

— Dossie Easton

“If you believe that you can use sex to shore up your fragile self-esteem by stealing someone else's, we feel sorry for you, because this will never work to build a solid sense of self worth, and you will have to go on stealing more and more and never getting fulfilled.”

— Dossie Easton

When penetration is desired, the focus is on what works for the recipient: we have yet to meet a dildo that got hung up on its own needs.

— Dossie Easton

“One of the most valuable things we can learn from open sexual lifestyles is that our programming is changeable.”

— Dossie Easton

“Most of us need some support in asking for what we want. When we are involved in making agreements, we need to feel sure that the needs we reveal will not be held against us. Most of us feel pretty vulnerable in and around our emotional limits, so it's important to recognize that these limits are valid: "I need to feel loved," "I need to feel that I'm important to you," "I need to know that you find me attractive," "I need you to listen and care about me when I feel hurt.”

— Dossie Easton

“Love is not a real-world limit: the mother of nine children can love each of them as much as the mother of an only child.”

— Dossie Easton

“The most successful long-term relationships are the ones with enough flexibility to redefine themselves over and over again through the years.”

— Dossie Easton

“GREAT SLUTS are made, not born.”

— Dossie Easton

“Nymphomaniac: a woamn that has more sex than you.”

— Dossie Easton

Fighting is the ultimate act of intimacy.
( ... ) Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability.

— Dossie Easton

“Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability Nothing deepens intimacy like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing to share in the scary stuff.”

— Dossie Easton

“Do remember: your sexiness is about how you feel, not how you look.”

— Dossie Easton

“Once you have a handle on loving yourself, you can practice sharing that love with others. You've probably been taught to reserve the language of love for when you're feeling overwhelmingly tender and passionate, and only for those who have made huge commitments to you. We recommend instead learning to recognize and acknowledge all the sweet feelings that make life worthwhile even when they don't knock you over-and, moreover, learning to communicate those feelings to the people who inspire them.”

— Dossie Easton

“Bottoms are alchemists who magically transform pain into sex.”

— Dossie Easton

“It is cruel and insensitive to interpret an affair as a symptom of sickness in the relationship, as it leaves the 'cheated-on' partner - who may already be feeling insecure - to wonder what is wrong with him Many people have sex outside their primary relationships for reasons that have nothing to do with any inadequacy in their partner or in the relationship.”

— Dossie Easton

“Increasing your repertoire has the advantage that you don't have to give up enjoying what you already like: it is always easier to add new behaviors than to deny your deepest desires.”

— Dossie Easton

“We believe that every relationship is unique unto itself, and thus even an attempt to think in types and forms is not going to express the essential truths of what happens when we love people.”

— Dossie Easton

“Sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.”

— Dossie Easton