Dave Attell Quotes

Enjoy the top 94 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Dave Attell.

Dave Attell Quotes

This one guy, the worse guy in the music. The Yanni man. You know Yanni? First of all, anyone who looks like a magician and doesnt do magic, I dont like. I dont even like magic, I hate it. But I love the word, "Ta-da"! I love that word! I dont get to say it, right? I never do any magic. You just cant go around walking, "Ta-da!" "Ta-da!" "Ta-da!" The only time I can say it is when I do something really stupid or surprising. Like if I go out all night drinking and hitting strip clubs and I come home and I still got some money ... "Ta
da!" I thought I was broke. Why does my jaw hurt?
— Dave Attell —

I don't watch reality TV.

— Dave Attell

Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes.

— Dave Attell

I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.

— Dave Attell

I'm not really a music guy.

— Dave Attell

Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno!

— Dave Attell

I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.

— Dave Attell

Everyone was laughin'. Even that deaf mute boy was breathing heavy and pointing at me. Which is laughter to their kind.

— Dave Attell

Men are having sex with animals and we wonder why the animals attack us. And I'll tell you why: it's cuz of that one sick man, and it's up to me and a half-mexican to stop him.

— Dave Attell

Dave Attell Quotes Pictures

Want to see more pictures of Dave Attell quotes? Click on image of Dave Attell quotes to view full size.

Dave Attell Quotes Pictures 1
Dave Attell Quotes Pictures 2
Dave Attell Quotes Pictures 3
Dave Attell Quotes Pictures 4