Billy Crystal Quotes

Enjoy the top 82 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Billy Crystal.

Billy Crystal Quotes

In my standup work, I always do these characters, older people who are just off to the side. Its easier to write a story about the guy who made it to the top, but the middle is so much more interesting, so much more murky.
— Billy Crystal —

It's more important to look good than to feel good.
Billy Crystal on Saturday Night Live

— Billy Crystal

And if we really want to stay current and relevant, we have to use social media. And by that I mean Facebook. There are one billion people on Facebook. Maybe older people should have our own social media. We can call it What Did That Doctor Do to Your Face Book? In fact, we can have our own text and Facebook abbreviations. We can have our own WTF, LOL, and LMAO. GNIB: Good news, it's benign. OMG: Oh, my gout. DMMLIMNWD: Don't make me laugh, I'm not wearing Depends. WAI: Where am I? ITIHSBCR: I think I had sex but can't remember. ILI: I like Ike. TKDC: The kids didn't call. DTLSTY: Does this look swollen to you? CTDMELOFM: Call the doctor-my erection lasted over four minutes. PAMUHNASIHSB: Put a mirror under his nose and see if he's still breathing. Bottom line: we can't be dial-up in a Wi-Fi world.

— Billy Crystal

Insomnia, from the Greek word meaning I can't fucking sleep!

— Billy Crystal

I'd like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.

— Billy Crystal

Change is such hard work.

— Billy Crystal

I'm comfortable being old ... being black ... being Jewish.

— Billy Crystal

I was a film-directing major at NYU. I'm still not sure why I became a directing major, when I was really an actor and a comedian, but there was something that drew me to doing that.

— Billy Crystal

My dad, Jack, had a great sense of humour and had a strong impact on me and my humour.

— Billy Crystal

As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.

— Billy Crystal

The house as I say ... smelled of brisket and bourbon, so you could hear that. I started imitating them. Phrases came out of that, "Can't you dig that?" "I knew that you would." We were at [Passover] Seders and they were confused with the bitter herbs, "Do we smoke these or do we do we dip them in salt water?" "We dip them in salt water, well that's gonna kill the vibrancy of the weed, you know." So that's what I was around. So I would imitate them. That's where it all started.

— Billy Crystal

When comedy is good, it's jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It's all melody to me.

— Billy Crystal

If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.

— Billy Crystal

I'm going to be your grandpa! / I have the biggest smile. / I've been waiting to meet you for such a long, long while.

— Billy Crystal

I quit drinking. That was a big problem for a lot of years. Then after that, I just started feeling grateful again.

— Billy Crystal

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