Arthur Guiterman Quotes

“In life as in football, fall forward when you fall.”

— Arthur Guiterman

On the Vanity of Earthly Greatness
The tusks which clashed in mighty brawls
Of mastodons, are billiard balls.
The sword of Charlemagne the Just
Is Ferric Oxide, known as rust.
The grizzly bear, whose potent hug,
Was feared by all, is now a rug.
Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf,
And I don't feel so well myself.

— Arthur Guiterman

“First dentistry was painless.
Then bicycles were chainless,
Carriages were horseless,
And many laws enforceless.
Next cookery was fireless,
Telegraphy was wireless,
Cigars were nicotineless,
And coffee caffeineless.
Soon oranges were seedless,
The putting green was weedless,
The college boy was hatless,
The proper diet fatless.
New motor roads are dustless,
The latest steel is rustless,
Our tennis courts are sodless,
Our new religion
godless.”

— Arthur Guiterman

“Don't tell your friends about your indigestions: "How are you!" is a greeting, not a question.”

— Arthur Guiterman

“I hope the Vandals had thorns in their sandals”

— Arthur Guiterman

“When life is woe, And hope is dumb, The World says, "Go!" The Grave says, "Come!”

— Arthur Guiterman

“Admitting Error clears the Score, And proves you Wiser than before.”

— Arthur Guiterman

“So once in every year we throng Upon a day apart, to praise the Lord with feast and song in thankfulness of heart.”

— Arthur Guiterman

“Oh the saddest of sights in a world of sin Is the little lost pup with his tail tucked in.”

— Arthur Guiterman

“No true reform has ever come to pass Unchallenged by a liar and an ass.”

— Arthur Guiterman

“For the young Gaels of Ireland
Are the lads that drive me mad,
For half their words need footnotes
And half their rhymes are bad.”

— Arthur Guiterman

“God, give me hills to climb, And strength for climbing!”

— Arthur Guiterman

“A Man consumes the Time you make him Wait In thinking of your Faults-so don't be late!”

— Arthur Guiterman

“Of all cold words of tongue or pen, the worst are these: I knew him when -”

— Arthur Guiterman

“Amoebas at the start Were not complex; They tore themselves apart And started Sex.”

— Arthur Guiterman

What one approves , another scorns, And thus his nature each discloses: You find the rosebush full of thorns, I find the thornbush full of roses.

— Arthur Guiterman

“He who knows what he is told must know a lot of things that are not so.”

— Arthur Guiterman

“God's Road is all uphill, but do not tire; Rejoice that we may still keep climbing higher.”

— Arthur Guiterman

Scheme not to make what's Another's your own; Be not a Dog for the sake of a Bone.

— Arthur Guiterman

The porcupine, which one must handle gloved, may be respected, but is never loved.

— Arthur Guiterman

It's lovely having grass and trees and flowers(Of course, at times, mosquitoes are a pest).Yes, life is life out here in Rangely Towers(Of course Some People like the city best)!

— Arthur Guiterman

“Oh, who would choose to be a traveler?
That anxious railway-guide unravelerWho spends his nights in berths and bunks,His days in chaperoning trunks;Who stands in line at gates and wicketsTo spend his means on costly ticketsTo Irkutsk, Liverpool and YapAnd other dots upon the map.”

— Arthur Guiterman

“The Deer don't dineWhen a Wolf's about,And the PorcupineSticks his quill-points out.”

— Arthur Guiterman

“When "Do no Evil" has been understood, Then learn the harder, braver rule, "Do Good.”

— Arthur Guiterman

The carpenter is not the best who makes more chips than all the rest.

— Arthur Guiterman

“Until the Donkey tried to clear The Fence, he thought himself a Deer.”

— Arthur Guiterman

“The stones that critics hurl with harsh intent, a man may use to build his monument.”

— Arthur Guiterman

“The Cat on your hearthstone to this day presages, By solemnly sneezing, the coming of rain!”

— Arthur Guiterman

“Active minds that think and study, like swift brooks are seldom muddy.”

— Arthur Guiterman

“It takes a bee to get the honey out”

— Arthur Guiterman