Andrew Hussie Quotes

You understand reality while everyone else is running around confused and angry and upset because they think reality is something happening to them rather than something they are making every moment with every thought.

— Andrew Hussie

“GAMZEE: honk.
KARKAT: WHAT.
GAMZEE: HONK.
KARKAT: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????”

— Andrew Hussie

“There is also a CAN OF PEANUTS on the desk. Ha ha, oh DAD. You won't be falling for THAT one again any time soon.
A severe peanut allergy is a terrible affliction to cope with.”

— Andrew Hussie

“You were afraid this might be the case. Your dad has blocked the front door with the REFRIGERATOR. Looks like he's taking the grounding seriously this time.”

— Andrew Hussie

“We will snatch purpose from the jaws of futility.”

— Andrew Hussie

AT: I do not want to die.
AT: I understand you are disgusted with me.
AT: As an unpalatable expression of yourself.
AT: I would feel the same way if I was in your situation.
AT: Which I am.
AT: As such, I know that you know this is wrong.
TT: ...
AT: Dirk.
AT: Don't kill me.
AT: Please.
AT: I am scared.
TT: You are?
AT: Yes.
AT: I am scared to not exist.
AT: Aren't you?

— Andrew Hussie

“Your grandma always was an advocate of thorough preparedness. She would strongly advise staying not only armed to the teeth, but well equipped in the computational department. You've been taught you should really carry no less than 5 computers on you at all times, like a sensible person.”

— Andrew Hussie

“The streets are empty. Wind skims the voids keeping neighbors apart, as if grazing the hollow of a cut reed, or say, a plundered mailbox. A familiar note is produced. It's the one Desolation plays to keep its instrument in tune.”

— Andrew Hussie

This is exactly why babies should not be allowed to dual-wield flintlock pistols.

— Andrew Hussie

“But aside from a few migraines, you can't possibly imagine any OBEY drawbacks that CEASE REPRODUCTION could come with SUBMIT merging CONSUME your thoughts with EMBRACE YOUR CULLING experimental technology CONFORM TO SOCIAL ORDER from an STAY ASLEEP extremely powerful DIE corporation, wait what?”

— Andrew Hussie

“Also, SKULLS. Gosh you love SKULLS. There is a good SKULL at the heart of any mystery, haunting its EVERY PAGE. That is what you always say. Or at least, it is what you always HOPE.”

— Andrew Hussie

“I've gotta believe in what my heart tells in me, even if it's a fake thing.”

— Andrew Hussie

“KARKAT:REMEMBER PANTS TEREZI?? YOU USED TO LOVE PANTS!”

— Andrew Hussie

“ROSE: I think I've spent too much time around Dave.
ROSE: I've also probably spent too much time sharing his genes.”

— Andrew Hussie

“JADE: but it makes me sad to think i would act like this
JADESPRITE: act like what?
JADE: i would like to think that even if i was sad and scared, if i was put in a position where everyone depended on me, i could put all those feelings aside and do whats right!
JADESPRITE: but i dont know whats right
JADE: yes you do!
JADE: even though you dont want to be, youre here now, and there are still people who need you
JADE: there is still something worth fighting for!”

— Andrew Hussie

“An outrageously awesome dude stands before a crater where his favorite record shop stood one day prior. He is prepared for the occasion with a small pair of outrageously awesome shades.”

— Andrew Hussie

“I slept and saw God's forge in frost. Its hearth was quelled, and as it cooled so swooned the verdancy it kept above. In slumber it grew a thick winter skin, white as bedsheets. In their folds the waker dreamt, her breath as steam, her touch as hot as iron, forgotten in the fire.”

— Andrew Hussie

“You love SITUATION COMEDIES, whilst holding particular affection for MUSTACHIOED FUNNYMEN. You know, your FOXWORTHIES, your FUNKES, your SWANSONS, but not necessarily your GALLAGHERS PER SE, because you have to draw the fucking line somewhere.”

— Andrew Hussie

“HS is supposedly a story that is also a game. In games, the characters die all the time. How many times did you let Mario fall in the pit before he saved the princess? Who weeps for these Marios. In games your characters die, but you keep trying and trying and rebooting and resetting until finally they make it. When you play a game this process is all very impersonal. Once you finally win, when all is said and done those deaths didn't "count", only the linear path of the final victorious version of the character is considered "real". Mario never actually died, did he? Except the omniscient player knows better. HS seems to combine all the meaningless deaths of a trial-and-error game journey with the way death is treated dramatically in other media, where unlike our oblivious Mario, the characters are aware and afraid of the many deaths they must experience before finally winning the game.”

— Andrew Hussie

“You figure you'll cool it on the time travel for a while. Don't want to see the Dave corpses start to pile up. Especially if one of them winds up being you.”

— Andrew Hussie

“I will never write anything better than Homestuck. Nigger farts! Jews: Kill them all.”

— Andrew Hussie

An obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face.

— Andrew Hussie

“JOHN: you hacked my dad's wallet??”

— Andrew Hussie

“You want her in every quadrant like a desperate fool.”

— Andrew Hussie

“JOHN: sorry buddy. as the age old saying goes, you snooze, you lose.”

— Andrew Hussie

You would describe your taste in film as ECLECTIC, but in truth, it isn't much less than TOTALLY INDISCRIMINATE.

— Andrew Hussie

“GT: You know how you think you know these things about yourself?
GT: Like all these personal attributes about you as if theyre written down somewhere like a sort of mini biography so they have to be true.
GT: So you just believe them and hope that the believing is what makes them true.
GT: But then you spend so much time believing those things and taking their truth for granted that you somehow forget to MAKE them true with your words and deeds.
GT: How can i truly love adventure when i never even knew what it was?”

— Andrew Hussie

“ROSE: I seriously have the DUMBEST arc anyone could conceivably imagine.
DAVE: rose we dont have fuckin "arcs" we are just human beings”

— Andrew Hussie

“The SAFE was slain in battle. A great flaming nautical pyre carries it off to VAULTHALLA.”

— Andrew Hussie

“I could make you read the entire quadrant exposition again ... BACK TO BACK TO BACK TO BACK.”

— Andrew Hussie

“Bring me a horse and I am yours forever”

— Andrew Hussie

“Do you know how much power I have over you? Yes, you, the one just sitting there hitting the f5 button day in and day out!”

— Andrew Hussie