Alex Adams Quotes

“How do you file a restraining order against sadness?”

— Alex Adams

“My two best friends are dead, which means they're great listeners now, but lousy as far as support goes.”

— Alex Adams

“Otherwise I'll do something that I won't be able to live with. And that's important to me, being able to live with my actions. My thoughts are a different story. They've my own and they don't hurt anyone but me.”

— Alex Adams

“And while I tell him all my thoughts, I don't always share my secrets.”

— Alex Adams

“Detach or go crazy.”

— Alex Adams

She's unhurt-or at least not bleeding on the oustide.

— Alex Adams

“Please don't' ask me how I feel about it. If I had to pick a word, I'd say homicidal.”

— Alex Adams

“Love fills all the gaps in our souls.”

— Alex Adams

You'll love him. Or maybe you'll just love him a time or two.

— Alex Adams

“I think my invisibility cloak just failed.”

— Alex Adams

“You're on a blind date. The only other questions is: Why aren't you drinking heavily?”

— Alex Adams

“If the world ends tomorrow, understand that I regret saying no.”

— Alex Adams

“Have you ever been in love?
Yes.
What's it like?
Great and terrible. Like Oz.”

— Alex Adams

“I've heard the story about the woman who opened the box and let havoc grab a choke hold on the world.”

— Alex Adams

“I don't want him to think I'm crazy, because I'm not. Desperate is what I am. Quietly desperate and insatiably curious.”

— Alex Adams

“He reels me in, cups my face with both hands, and becomes my whole world. This is a kiss
maybe the last one we'll ever know, so we stay there forever, warm and safe. When he pulls away, something is lost. I think it's my heart.”

— Alex Adams

It's satisfying. It yields immediate results. Something is dirty. Then it's not.

— Alex Adams

“It's not just college grades that fall in a curve. Human decency is bell-shaped, with some of us slopping over the edges. Saints on one end, sinners on the other.”

— Alex Adams

“I pray to a God I don't really have faith in just so I feel like I have company.”

— Alex Adams

When I awake, the world is still gone.

— Alex Adams

Worst case I'll bring Rain Man here. I'll tell him it's a date.
Aha, so he's cute, then?
Tasty. And smart. Can't beat that witha stick.

— Alex Adams

“My sister's voice is Minnie Mouse and a dash of fingernails down a chalkboard, but only when she wants to bend me to her will.”

— Alex Adams

“I have two choices: attend my sister's dinner party or tie a plastic sack around my mother's head until she runs out of ngagging. I choose the evil that doesn't come witha felony conviction.”

— Alex Adams

“Can I ask you something?
Boxers. Briefs exacerbate my claustrophobia.”

— Alex Adams

Five years, my family thinks it's time I moved on. I'd like to move on with a non-asshole

— Alex Adams

“Are you menstruating?
what?
You're angry. Women are often angry when they menstruate. It is the hormones.”

— Alex Adams

“Do you realize you're talking to yourself?
Yes.
It's good that you know the difference.”

— Alex Adams

“You're not dead.
I'm not dead.
Why? How?
Dying wasn't on my list.”

— Alex Adams

Just so we're clear, I dont' secretly want to have sex with either of my parents.
Me either. I worked through that in college just to make sure. It was touch and go for a while, especially when my father kept asking me if he looked pretty.

— Alex Adams

“A crude puppet impaled by her puppet master.”

— Alex Adams

“You want something to drink?
Is this a trick question?
Yes. I'm going to read your personality based on your beverage choices, so choose wisely.”

— Alex Adams

“Why don't you tell me why you called me?
Don't you know?
I'm a therapist, nto a psychic.
That would make your job easier, no?
Scarier.”

— Alex Adams

“It's old. Really old.
Is that a technical term?
Yeah, it's technical. Translation: I don't know how old it is, but it's really fucking old.
Wow. That is old.”

— Alex Adams

Our new intern sorts pot shards like some kind of savant. The other interns call himi Rain Man.

— Alex Adams

If you kill him, call me. I'm bound by doctor client privilege.
Really?
No, but the courts make exceptions for assholes.

— Alex Adams

“Do you want me, too?
Yes. And no.
I'll take that. For now.”

— Alex Adams

“Just a cold. And I think maybe I'm pregnant, because I'm always riding the porcelain bus, or thinking about it.”

— Alex Adams

“Just say the word and I'll make him stay.
I have to do it.
There's no have to. Not even now.”

— Alex Adams

“One way, our way policy.”

— Alex Adams

“Fuck you. Fuck you with a chainsaw!”

— Alex Adams

“They rushed in like sickle cells forced through a vein.”

— Alex Adams

“Pa-rump, pa-rump, pa-rump. He's the Little Drummer Boy on speed.”

— Alex Adams

“Thank God.
Yeah, God. That guy.”

— Alex Adams