Store Opening Quotes

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Store Opening Quotes

And like in a movie I appear in front of the DAgostinos, sales clerks beckoning for me to enter, and Im using an expired coupon for a box of oat-bran cereal and the girl at the checkout counter black, dumb,slow doesnt get it, doesnt notice the expiration date has passed even though its the only thing I buy, and I get a small but incendiary thrill when I walk out of the store, opening the box, stuffing handfuls of the cereal into my mouth, trying to whistle "Hips to Be Square".
— Bret Easton Ellis —

I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I'm lazy-but I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know, I could go for a sandwich-but, uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. Cleaning, who knows how many knives!?"

— Brian Regan

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