Quotes About Ranch Dressing

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Quotes About Ranch Dressing

What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?
— Jim Gaffigan —

STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL FAUX VOMIT:
1 cup of cooked oatmeal
1.2 cup of sour cream (or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk)
2 chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness)
1 uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture)
1 can of split pea soup (for putrid green color)
1/4 cup of raisins (to increase gross-osity)
Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutes
Let mixture cool to warm vomit temperature
Use liberally as needed
Makes 4 to 5 cups

— Rachel Renée Russell

What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?

— Jim Gaffigan

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