Quotes About Manure

“Knowledge, like money and muck (manure), serves us best when spread evenly.”

— Stuart Aken

“In California, the state's huge dairy herd produces twenty-seven million tons of manure a year, the particulates and vapors from which have helped to make air quality in the argiculturally intensive San Joaquin Valley worse than it is Los Angeles.”

— Paul Roberts

“Like me!" I said. "I have to work hard, too. Why, I haven't thrown manure in over two months!”

— Jennifer L. Holm

“It stank pretty bad, of course: manure was caked all over the wagon. But we were free. Right then I was elated with a sense of how faithful God is to his promises; I was free, and I was smiling joyfully on a manure wagon. As we ambled along, I laughed to myself when I thought of God's sense of humor in delivering us that way. Even today, the smell of manure reminds me of freedom.”

— Diet Eman

“Ivanov- "Up to now , all revolutions have been made by moralizing diletantes. They were always in good faith and perished because of their dilettantism. We for the first time are consequent ... "
"Yes," said Rubashov. "So consequent, that in the interests of a just distribution of land we deliberately let die of starvation about five million farmers and their families in one year. So consequent were we in the liberation of human beings from the shackles of industrial exploitation that we sent about ten million people to do forced labour in the Artic regions and the jungles of the East, under conditions similar to those of antique galley slaves. So consequent that, to settle a difference of opinion, we know only one argument: death, whether it is a matter of submarines, manure, or the Party line to be followed in Indo-China ...”

— Arthur Koestler

“The difference between an ignorant fool shoveling manure in a bullpen, and a fool with a PhD, is that the fool with the PhD can shovel more of it, faster.”

— Dimitris Mita

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”

— Robert A. Heinlein

“They got a manure machine in there," Keller said. He went up to the barn and peeked through a hole between tow boards. "On wheels. It's fun to ride sometimes, when you don't care how you smell.”

— Sandra Neil Wallace

“The crossing sweeper, a boy of about eight or nine years, was still busily pushing manure out of the way to make a clean path for any pedestrian who wished to reach the other side. He seemed to be one of those cheerful souls willing to make the best out of any situation. His skimpy trousers stuck to his legs, his coat was too long for him and gaped around the neck, but his enormous cap seemed to keep most of the rain off his head, except for”

— Anne Perry

“My father's boots went ahead. His boots were to me as unique and familiar, as much an index to himself, as his face was. When he had taken them off they stood in a corner of the kitchen, giving off a complicated smell of manure, machine oil, caked black mud, and the ripe disintegrating material that lined their soles. They were a part of himself, temporarily discarded, waiting. They had an expression that was dogged and uncompromising, even brutal, and I thought of that as part of my father's look, the counterpart of his face, with its readiness for jokes and courtesies. Nor did that brutality surprise me; my father came back to us always, to my mother and me from places where our judgment could not follow.”

— Alice Munro

“You can find friends in manure, sometimes, my son.”

— James Clavell

“The wind gusted through the palms and the fronds rubbed together like crumpled tissue paper. It carried the scent of manure and gasoline and the orchard behind the fence. It blew under the thin material of my dress, and I shivered when it slipped over my skin. I envied its reckless abandon, the way it touched without fear.”

— Heather Demetrios

“I've always considered myself a physical person. I don't call myself a farm girl, but I did spend a lot of years shoveling manure and throwing hay, because I worked to pay most of my riding expenses.”

— Eleanor Mondale

“China's use of 'night soil,' as the Chinese rightly call a manure that is collected after dark, is probably the reason that its soils are still healthy after four millennia of intensive agriculture, while other great civilizations - the Maya, for one - floundered when their soils turned to dust.”

— Rose George

“Well, I can do certain jobs because smells don't bother me. But that means I'm usually the one at the ranch cleaning up all the manure.”

— Bill Pullman

“Cowgirl Interlude (Bonanza Jellybean)
She is lying on the family sofa in flannel pajamas. There is Kansas City mud on the tips and heels of her boots, boots that have yet to savor real manure. Fourteen, she knows she ought to remove her boots, yet she refuses. A Maverick rerun is on TV; she is eating beef jerky, occasionally slurping. On her upper stomach, where her pajama top has ridden up, is a small deep scar. She tells everyone, including her school nurse, that it was made by a silver bullet.
Whatever the origin of the extra hole in her belly, there are unmistakable signs of gunfire int he woodwork by the closet door. It was there that she once shot up one half of an old pair of sneakers. "Self-defense," she pleaded, when her parents complained. "It was a [sic] out-law tennis shoe.
Billy the Ked.”

— Tom Robbins

“Money is like manure, its only good if you spread it around.”

— Francis Bacon

“We need to respect the fact that cows are herbivores, and that does not mean feeding them corn and chicken manure.”

— Joel Salatin

“I asked the feedlot manager why they didn't just spray the liquefied manure on neighboring farms. The farmers don't want it, he explained. The nitrogen and phosphorus levels are so high that spraying the crops would kill them. He didn't say that feedlot wastes also contain heavy metals and hormone residues, persistent chemicals that end up in waterways downstream, where scientists have found fish and amphibians exhibiting abnormal sex characteristics.”

— Michael Pollan

“The corncob was the central object of my life. My father was a horse handler, first trotting and pacing horses, then coach horses, then work horses, finally saddle horses. I grew up around, on, and under horses, fed them, shoveled their manure, emptied the mangers of corncobs.”

— Paul Engle

“Tell me what you do with the food you eat, and I'll tell you who you are. Some turn their food into fat and manure, some into work and good humour, and others, I'm told, into God. So there must be three sorts of men.”

— Nikos Kazantzakis

“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells.”

— J. Paul Getty

“We can move water easily with plastic pipes. We can move shade around with nursery cloth like a tinker toy for animals and plants. Yet we have developed this necessity to grow food with chemical fertiliser because we have forgotten the magic of manure.”

— Joel Salatin

“All the human and animal manure which the world wastes, if returned to the land, instead of being thrown into the sea, would suffice to nourish the world.”

— Victor Hugo

“Many cows are fed a high-protein diet, which creates a more liquid manure that is easier to spray on fields.”

— Charles Duhigg

“And sweets to the sweet, I replied, then spoke the word that completed the spell, dropping a load of manure upon him.”

— Roger Zelazny

“I imbue this place with my essence, every stone and every drop. My visit will do wonders for the flowers."
Aly propped her chin on her hand. "So does manure," she observed.”

— Tamora Pierce

“He who follows his lessons tastes a profound peace, and looks upon everybody as a bunch of manure.”

— Moliere

“I have no great desire to play a great role. You can't make quality on TV anyway. It's always a manure pile. You're on the top, or you're on the bottom, but it's still a manure pile, and I'm not sure the movie industry isn't like that, too.”

— Wayne Rogers

“Well, I myself find that respect is like manure. Use it where needed, and growth will flourish. Spread it on too thick, and things just start to smell.”

— Brandon Sanderson

“When the spring comes, we will manure the plains of Kosova with the bones of Serbs, for we Albanians have suffered too much to forget.”

— Isa Boletini

“The stables of Versailles in December were not renowned for illumination, but Eliza could hear the gentleman's satins hissing and his linens creaking as he bowed. She made curtseying noises in return. This was answered by a short burst of scratching and rasping as the gentleman adjusted his wig. She cleared her throat. He called for a candle and got a whole silver candelabra, a chevron of flames bobbing and banking like a formation of fireflies through the ambient miasma of horse breath, manure gas and wig powder.”

— Neal Stephenson

“THE BARN was very large. It was very old. It smelled of hay and it smelled of manure. It smelled of the perspiration of tired horses and the wonderful sweet breath of patient cows. It often had a sort of peaceful smell-as though nothing bad could happen ever again in the world.”

— E.B. White

“Rumors and Manure both get spread around but only one is beneficial”

— Ed Furgol

“Unable to function as plants, we must serve as manure.”

— Edward Conze

“There are people who say, 'Oh every time Catholics make the sign of the cross they re-crucify Christ.' Look, that's what comes under the theological classification of happy horse manure! That's bologna, absolute bologna! They don't know anything about our religion, and I don't purport to know anything about theirs. I respect theirs, respect ours. When we make the sign of the cross, we are simply making a statement of faith. I believe in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, and I believe in the sign of the cross, because that is the sign of our salvation!”

— John Corapi

“You need bad things to make good things. It's like with farming- if you want to grow a good crop, you need a lot of manure.”

— Mike Watt

“To embrace a woman is to embrace a sack of manure ...”

— Odo Of Cluny

“Money is like manure. If you spread it around, it does a lot of good, but if you pile it up in one place, it stinks like hell.”

— Clint Murchison, Jr.

“A manure containing several ingredients acts in this wise: The effect of all of them in the soil accommodates itself to that one among them which, in comparison to the wants of the plant, is present in the smallest quantity.”

— Justus Von Liebig

“The more fodder, the more flesh; the more flesh, the more manure; the more manure, the more grain.”

— Justus Von Liebig

“Man takes great pains to heap up riches, and they are like heaps of manure in the furrows of the field, good for nothing unless they be spread.”

— Matthew Henry

“Wilbur burst into tears. "I dont want to die," he moaned. "I want to stay alive, right here in my comfortable manure pile with all my friends. I want to breathe the beautiful air and lie in the beautiful sun."”

— E.B. White

“The longer I live the greater is my respect for manure in all its forms.”

— Elizabeth Von Arnim

“You know what they say in Arkansas ... manure happens.”

— Jerry Lawler

“All idealists imagine that the causes they serve are fundamentally better than any other causes in the world, and they refuse to believe that if their cause is to flourish at all it requires precisely the same foul-smelling manure that is necessary to all other human undertakings.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

“No man should be allowed to be the President who does not understand hogs, or hasn't been around a manure pile.”

— George Orwell

“The care of a house, the conduct of a home, the management of children, the instruction and government of servants, are as deserving of scientific treatment and scientific professors and lectureships as are the care of farms, the management of manure and crops, and the raising and care of stock.”

— Catharine Beecher

“Once plants and animals were raised together on the same farm - which therefore neither produced unmanageable surpluses of manure, to be wasted and to pollute the water supply, nor depended on such quantities of commercial fertilizer. The genius of American farm experts is very well demonstrated here: they can take a solution and divide it neatly into two problems.”

— Wendell Berry

“The mode of clearing and planting is to fell the trees, and burn once what will burn, then cut them up into suitable lengths, rollinto heaps, and burn again; then, with a hoe, plant potatoes where you can come at the ground between the stumps and charred logs; for a first crop the ashes suffice for manure, and no hoeing being necessary the first year. In the fall, cut, roll, and burn again, and so on, till the land is cleared; and soon it is ready for grain, and to be laid down.”

— Henry David Thoreau