Quotes About Christmas Funny

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Quotes About Christmas Funny

Whered you learn to do all these funny things? he laughed. And you know I say funny but theres sumpthin so durned sensible about em. Here I am killin myself drivin this rig back and forth from Ohio to L.A. and I make more money than you ever had in your whole life as a hobo, but youre the one who enjoys life and not only that but you do it without workin or a whole lot of money. Now whos smart, you or me? And he had a nice home in Ohio with wife, daughter, Christmas tree, two cars, garage, lawn, lawnmower, but he couldnt enjoy any of it because he really wasnt free.
— Jack Kerouac —

It's funny to think that Christmas - a time known for its joyful togetherness - can be the loneliest time of the year for some.

— Giovanna Fletcher

People never like to talk about their slower relatives. I got a cousin, twice removed, got webs between his toes, ain't said one word his whole life. You never hear about him in the family newsletter that goes around every Christmas. Hell, nobody mentions me, either, if it comes to that. Families is funny about who they advertise.

— Susan Juby

In better times, we're celebrate Christmas Eve by attending the nativity play at the Catholic church down the road, watching Joseph and Mary and Baby Jesus try to escape from Herod's soldiers and their wooden swords and AK-47s (it wasn't the most accurate version, but it was funny.)

— William Kamkwamba

It's funny how one summer can change everything. It must be something about the heat and the smell of chlorine, fresh-cut grass and honeysuckle, asphalt sizzling after late-day thunderstorms, the steam rising while everything drips around it. Something about long, lazy days and whirring air conditioners and bright plastic flip-flops from the drugstore thwacking down the street. Something about fall being so close, another year, another Christmas, another beginning. So much in one summer, stirring up like the storms that crest at the end of each day, blowing out all the heat and dirt to leave everything gasping and cool. Everyone can reach back to one summer and lay a finger to it, finding the exact point when everything changed. That summer was mine.

— Sarah Dessen

I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin

— Bill Watterson

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things."
"But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.

— Lemony Snicket

I'm decorating my parents' house for Christmas ... I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as I do!

— Lisa Lampanelli

I had sinus surgery the day after Christmas and it has been the worst surgery of my life. Very painful, and on top of it everyone of course thought I got a nose job. Which is so funny because if you know me I would have told you I got a nose job I'm not gonna keep it a secret.

— Kaley Cuoco

At Christmas, individuals are apportioned their roles in the family script - you're either the funny one or the sensitive one; or you either do the cooking or the washing up. And those roles aren't easy to change.

— Tom Hiddleston

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