Pardon My Face Quotes

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Pardon My Face Quotes

Our Meat Facial today, Ms. Loeffler?" "Uhm, hows that." "You didnt get our offer in the mail? on special all this week, works miracles for the complexion—freshly killed, of course, before those enzymesve had a chance to break down, how about it?" "Well, I dont . . ." "Wonderful! Morris, kill . . . the chicken!" From the back room comes horrible panicked squawking, then silence. Maxine meantime is tilted back, eyelids aflutter, when— "Now well just apply some of this," wham! ". . . meat here, directly onto this lovely yet depleted face . . ." "Mmff . . ." "Pardon? (Easy, Morris!)" "Why is it . . . uh, moving around like that? Wait! is that a— are you guys putting a real dead chicken in my— aaahhh!" "Not quite dead yet!" Morris jovially informs the thrashing Maxine as blood and feathers fly everywhere. Each
— Thomas Pynchon —

That would be me," I said. "Good afternoon, gentlemen. Is this a joke?" "I beg your pardon?" the older fellow inquired politely, a faint smile on his narrow face. He sounded like an English butler. "You know, a tall priest and a short rabbi walk into a pagan bookstore  ... " "What?" He looked down at his companion, seeming to realize for the first time that he was quite a bit shorter and in fact of a different religious order than he. "Oh, gracious, I suppose it must seem amusing at that." He didn't seem amused, though.

— Kevin Hearne

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