Lactose Quotes

“The phytochemicals, antioxidants, and fiber- all of the healthful components of plant foods- originate in plants, not animals. If they are present, it is because the animal ate plants. And why should we go through an animal to get the benefits of the plants themselves? To consume unnecessary, unseemly, and unhealthy substances, such as saturated fat, animal protein, lactose, and dietary cholesterol, is to negate the benefits of the fiber, phytonutrients, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants that are prevalent and inherent in plants.”

— Colleen Patrick-Goudreau

“We play into the definitions and stereotypes others impose on us and accept the model-minority myth, thinking it's positive, but it's a trap just like any stereotype. They put a piece of model-minority cheese between the metal jaws of their mousetrap, but we're lactose intolerant anyway! We can't even eat the cheese.”

— Eddie Huang

“It's going to be legen ... wait for it ... and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is ... dairy!”

— Barney Stinson

“Today I bought a small Frosty. This may not seem significant, but the fact is: I'm lactose intolerant. Purchasing a small Frosty, then, is no different than hiring someone to beat me. No different in essence. The only difference, which may or may not be essential, is that, during my torture, I am gazing upon your beautiful employees.”

— Joe Wenderoth

“We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to shit. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a fucking lactose intolerance?!”

— Chris Rock

“Mrs. Francis, may I introduce the Scourge of the Skies, the Terror of Dairy Farmers, the Lord of Lactose, Master of the Cheese Pirates of Snow Monkey Island, Captain Cheesebeard.”

— Sean Cullen

“The whole crew sat on the deck, without a storm or a monster attack to worry about for the first time in days, and ate ice cream. Well, except for Frank, who was lactose intolerant. He got an apple.”

— Rick Riordan

“The horse seemed to bend time and space as he ran, blurring the landscape and making Frank feel like he'd just drunk a gallon of whole milk without his lactose-intolerance medicine: Seven hundred and fifty miles per hour. Eight hundred. Eight hundred and three. Fast. very Fast.”

— Rick Riordan

“Frank: "I wish I was ADHD or dyslexic. All I got is lactose intolerance."
Percy: "Seriously?"
Frank: "And I love ice cream too ...”

— Rick Riordan

“Me too!" Frank said. "I mean ... lactose intolerant. Not a reptile. Though I can be a reptile sometimes-”

— Rick Riordan

“Seeing as when it came to the milk of human kindness
they were all pretty much lactose intolerant.”

— J.L. Merrow

“It's probably those lactose-intolerant freaks. We all know there's nothing cool about intolerance.”

— Caprice Crane

“A few small changes in your DNA can turn your eyes blue, make you lactose intolerant or put some curl in your hair.”

— Anne Wojcicki

“I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.”

— Larry David

“I am lactose intolerant, and I always thought it was really funny how people who are lactose intolerant continue to eat dairy, because they like it so much. And I find it not acceptable.”

— Lake Bell

“My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex - ever. Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant.”

— Margaret Cho

“My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.”

— Jay London

“I used to have terrible acne on my face: red, splotchy discoloration. And mucus - I was constantly blowing my nose. Then one day, this woman sits down next to me on a bus, and says, 'You're lactose-intolerant.' It all cleared up in three days. That changed my life. Doctors couldn't figure it out.”

— Woody Harrelson

“If you want to find missing children put their photo's on Soda Cans, beer cans and cigarette packs and you'll increase the odds by millions some people are lactose in tolerate.”

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

“Fortified plant-based milks are delicious and contain all the calcium, protein, and vitamin D of dairy products but with none of the cholesterol, lactose, hormones, or cruelty found in cow's milk.”

— Ingrid Newkirk

“When I was 23, 24, I used to have a really bad runny nose, mucus, tons of acne, reddishness all over. A woman on a bus I took looked at me and said I was lactose intolerant. (She said), 'Stop dairy for three days, and all this is going to go away.' I stopped dairy, and sure enough it was gone three days later, never to return except when I get dairy accidentally.”

— Woody Harrelson

“You should never eat when you're on the toilet. "But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk!" That's more of an almond milk cereal, but live
your dream.”

— Daniel Tosh