Jackass 3d Quotes

“You stupid, selfish, philandering coach-class jackass.”

— Kate Klise

“Galen?"
"Hmm?"
"You can put me down now."
"I'm not ready yet." He tightens his hold.
"You don't have to hold-"
"Emma? Can you hear me?"
"Uh, yes. I can hear fine. I just can't see-"
"That's a relief. Because for a minute there, I thought maybe you didn't hear me when I said I'm not ready yet."
"Jackass.”

— Anna Banks

“How about this?" I said, because now it was the principle of the thing. "I'm sorry, jackass.”

— Rosemary Clement-Moore

“And Nate? You kiss like a slobbering dog, you have bad breath, and you wouldn't know how to punch the right buttons on a girl if we came with manuals. Happy Thanksgiving, Jackass.”

— Elizabeth Eulberg

“Listen, I gather you have a problem working with a psychic. Believe me, I don't like working with a jackass any better.”

— Kim Harrington

“An artist is like a woman who can do nothing but love, and who succumbs to every stray male jackass.”

— Heinrich Theodor Boll

“When I loved myself enough, I let the tomboy in me swing off the rope in Jackass Canyon. Yes!”

— Kim McMillen

“The rasp in his voice did her in. It wasn't the lazy boredom of a jackass who wanted a warm place to stick his dick. It was edgy.”

— Kit Rocha

“I moved to the counter. A note was propped on the register. Welcome home, Ms. Lane. Arrogant, overconfident jackass.”

— Karen Marie Moning

“Martin of Sheffield,
Age Twenty-Nine
He kissed her like she knew she was meant to be kissed. He smelled of gardens, tricked her brain into believing she was irresistible, and made the idea of falling in love seem possible again.
But really he was an actor posing as a gardener, who posed as a gentleman during balls in an Austenland estate where she'd gone to find out if she could let her fantasy of Mr. Darcy die at last. Seriously.
Also, he turned out to be a jackass.”

— Shannon Hale

“A jackass can kick a barn down, but it takes a carpenter to build one.”

— Sam Rayburn

“I've even got one for you, too, Ellie."
"Wow, thank you, Marcus."
"The second one was supposed to be mine," he admitted with a shrug. "But since I don't want to look like a jackass, I'll give it to you. See what a nice guy I am?"
I rolled my eyes at him. "God, Marcus, you're the sweetest guy ever."
He grinned stupidly. "Actually, that's not true. I got it for you to begin with, because you two are attached at the hip and I figured you'd show up together. You're so predictable.”

— Courtney Allison Moulton

“Maybe you can talk to donkeys, too," Dr. Milligan smiles. Emma nods. "I can sometimes Galen can be a jackass."
"That hurts my feelings, Emma," Galen says, trying to look hurt.”

— Anna Banks

“'He'll probably end up angling for a threesome. Then I'll have to get my animal name so I can be a part of the group. So Native American of you white boys. I'll probably go for something like Falcon. Or Wolf.'
'Jackass suits you better,' Anna intones.”

— T.J. Klune

“It felt like I had been punched in the gut - a feeling I wasn't accustomed to. I usually guarded myself well in that regard. Wounds in the field were one thing, but these kind, they were sheer stupidity. I may have had the air knocked out of me, but Rafe looked like he had been trampled. Stupid sot.
When I turned to leave, he was standing just a dozen feet away, not even trying to hide his presence. He had seen it all. Apparently the smitten jackass had followed us. He didn't speak when I saw him. I suspected he couldn't.
I brushed past him. "It seems she's true to her word. She isn't the innocent sort, is she?"
He didn't reply. A reply would have been redundant. His face already said it. Maybe now he'd be on his way once and for all.”

— Mary E. Pearson

“'Jackass: The Movie' is great. I think it's in the tradition of physical comedy, which I'm really interested in. Its relationship to gravity, and how gravity acts on the body.”

— Matthew Barney

“Oh, so it was a lifesaving kiss."
"Well, if you want to put it that way ... "
Arrogant jackass. "Do me a favor: next time you think my life needs saving, just let me die. I'd really prefer it."
He laughed.
She shook her head. "I'm going to the front with the boys. Don't follow me. You and your paramedic kisses need time to cool off.”

— Ilona Andrews

“Why had she imagined he was attractive? He was absolutely the biggest, most complete and utter jackass she'd ever had the bad fortune to meet.”

— Christina Dodd

“Fuck you. Hunter (I decided not to call him Liam anymore-Liam was a nice name for a nice guy, and it didn't fit this bastard at all) glanced at his friend, then rubbed a hand over his face. For a minute he looked tired. Jackass. I was going to laugh at his funeral.”

— Joanna Wylde

“Being trapped thus is incredibly frustrating for me, and
occasionally I take it out on others. Again, I apologize. Now,
if you'd like, I can help you with what you're seeking."
Knowing I'd probably regret it, I crossed the room and
yanked the canvas off the mirror. As before, he was sitting
on the table, smirking at me.
"Jackass, jackass on the wall, where's the info on Hex
Hall?”

— Rachel Hawkins

“He's practically stalking me. He just won't let it go. He's just being ... he's being a jackass with a flaky jackass crust and a delicious jackass filling."
"So he's jackass pie?”

— Molly Harper

“You jackass. We're all going to die here. You know that, right?' Harrier said.
Yeah, Eugens said shakily. ' ... Guess I might as well die here with you as out on the desert with a bunch of other jackasses.”

— Mercedes Lackey

“More than one side? You're Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jackass!”

— Chuck Palahniuk

“I made some friends for life, the way I usually make them. Any jackass can be pleasant company, but if people help you when you're at your worst, that's a friend.”

— Rick Bragg

“Jackass!" Eve yelled.
"You know, when people say that, I just hear the word awesome," Shane said.”

— Rachel Caine

“No' is golden. 'No' is the kind of power the good witch wields. It's the way whole, healthy, emotionally evolved people manage to have relationships with jackasses while limiting the amount of jackass in their lives.”

— Cheryl Strayed

“Because orgasmic sex would lead to women's autonomy, knowing who you are and what we want: Women are not going to follow what some jackass tells us we must do. Not all women are going to get married, be monogamous and raise a family. It will destroy the current social structure based on a sexual double standard that we're currently living under.”

— Betty Dodson

“A jackass has that kind of strength, and puts it to a useful purpose, and is valuable to the world because he is a jackass; but anobleman is not valuable because he is a jackass. It is a mixture that is always ineffectual, and should never have been attempted in the first place. And yet, once you start a mistake, the trouble is done and you never know what is going to come of it.”

— Mark Twain

“I have learned that one of the most important rules in politics is poise - which means looking like an owl after you have behaved like a jackass.”

— Ronald Reagan

“My proudest moment was when I was in high school, some jackass tried to give me a wedgy. I came prepared, I went commando. It tickled.”

— Jared Leto

“I just always had a penchant for performing for people.I'm a jackass clown.”

— Nick Offerman

“I feel it's important to point out that I've earned my humility by being a jackass - like, I trip and fall on my face and say, "Oh, right. Don't think you're a big shot, because you've got a bloody nose now." So it's hard to say.”

— Nick Offerman

“A pack of jackasses led by a lion is superior to a pack of lions led by a jackass.”

— George Washington

“I felt like people really do their best work when they're having a really good time and feel safe to push the envelope and make a jackass out of themselves.”

— Clark Gregg