Famous Cooking Quotes

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Famous Cooking Quotes

I cant help but be attracted to pregnant women. Unless theyre malnourished. Ill see a malnourished pregnant woman on the subway sometimes, big in the belly but with stick-figure arms and hair like a rats, and I want to buy her a space heater. I want to yell at her parents. I remember going up to this real malnourished-looking pregnant lady on the G train one time and asking her if shed like a free dinner at Juniors. She couldnt believe I was trying to pick her up on the G train, a pregnant woman with a ring on her finger. I hadnt noticed the ring. It was one hell of a big ring. I tried to convince her that I wasnt trying to pick her up. I offered to give her fifty bucks for cooking oil. That just made matters worse. Turns out she was a famous model. Ive seen her on billboards.
— Joshua Ferris —

I can't help but be attracted to pregnant women. Unless they're malnourished. I'll see a malnourished pregnant woman on the subway sometimes, big in the belly but with stick-figure arms and hair like a rat's, and I want to buy her a space heater. I want to yell at her parents. I remember going up to this real malnourished-looking pregnant lady on the G train one time and asking her if she'd like a free dinner at Junior's. She couldn't believe I was trying to pick her up on the G train, a pregnant woman with a ring on her finger. I hadn't noticed the ring. It was one hell of a big ring. I tried to convince her that I wasn't trying to pick her up. I offered to give her fifty bucks for cooking oil. That just made matters worse. Turns out she was a famous model. I've seen her on billboards.

— Joshua Ferris

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