Bartender Quotes

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Bartender Quotes

Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but youre still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. When you look at it that way, its not that much fun.
— John Hodgman —

For a while a person is a junkie and a bartender or a junkie and a father or a junkie and a thief, but after a while he's just a junkie.

— Daniel Polansky

The girl you're looking for no longer exists. She died thirteen years ago. The woman who's left, she's just a bartender.

— Sarah Grimm

Hey, have you heard that one about the difference between me, Wit, and my loutish cousin, Hilarity? No? Okay, so I walk into a bar, you see, very unassuming, and order a martini. Then the bartender, Hilarity, hauls off and squirts me in the face with a seltzer bottle, ruining my n ice new camel hair suit, dousing my monocle and my watch fob, soaking my cravat. So, do I let him have what for, and blow my top? I do not. I simply say:
Sorry, I believe I said 'very dry'.

— Chip Kidd

And finally
the glass that contains and spills this stuff continually
while the drinker hunches before it, while the bartender gathers
up empties, gives back the drinker's own face. Who knows what it looks like;
who cares whether or not it was young once, or ever lovely,
who gives a shit about some drunk rising to stagger toward
the bathroom, some man or woman or even lost
angel who recklessly threw it all over-heaven, the ether,
the celestial works-and said, Fuck it, I want to be human?

— Kim Addonizio

One of the few times I've ever wished for a penis," she said to Rae when the bartender stepped up to take the order of yet another male customer. They'd been waiting to be served for over twenty minutes. She'd even worn the red magic boob dress tonight, but unfortunately, its mojo offered no help in this particular situation.
"You haven't had sex in six months," Rae said. "If I were you, I'd be wishing for penises every night.

— Julie James

Bless my soul," whispered the old bartender, "Harry Potter ... what an honor.

— J.K. Rowling

I was so lucky to have parents who supported me, 100%, with whatever I was doing, both financially and emotionally. Having that they made my life so much easier. Instead of becoming a bartender and trying to survive while trying to pursue your dreams, I didn't have to worry about that aspect. I could just pursue my dreams.

— Cam Gigandet

I remember back in Detroit, I used to go to the Apex Bar every night after I got off work. The bartender there used to call me Boom Boom. I don't know why, but he did.

— John Lee Hooker

I was an amazing bartender and a great waiter. I think, in a way, that was my acting school.

— Nick Frost

I had various jobs, I taught a SAT class, I was a bartender, I had a day job at an office and was making short films. I got grants from NYSCA and NEA for an idea, which later became 'Huckabees,' about a guy in a Chinese restaurant who had microphones on every table and heard every personal conversation and would write perversely personal fortunes.

— David O. Russell

You know you're in trouble, when the bartender cries.

— Michael Peterson

The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer ...

— Harry Gordon Johnson

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, what'll it be? The duck doesn't answer because it's a duck.

— Jodi Picoult

If you truly love me, kill the bartender.

— Quentin Crisp

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