Tim Minchin Quotes

Enjoy the top 31 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Tim Minchin.

Tim Minchin Quotes

I dont know what it is about "magic happens"-stickers on cars but every time I see one I wanna get out my permanent marker and sneak over and write underneath it "so does cot death".
— Tim Minchin —

You know what they call alternative medicine that's been proved to work? - Medicine.

— Tim Minchin

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can break hearts.

— Tim Minchin

Don't Seek Happiness - Happiness is like an orgasm: if you think about it too much, it goes away. Keep busy and aim to make someone else happy, and you might find you get some as a side effect. We didn't evolve to be constantly content. Contented Australopithecus Afarensis got eaten before passing on their genes.

— Tim Minchin

Tim Minchin's musings on Tony, the first 'fish' ever to have feet:
Imagine what Tony would think, standing there on his brand new feet on the brink of the beginnings of mankind as we know it ... if he could look forward just a few short ... hundreds of millions of years ... to see one of his descendants ... an Israeli Jew by the name of Jesus, having a nail hammered through his feet ... the very feet that Tony provided him with, as a punishment for having a, sort of, schizophrenic discourse with a God who was created by Mankind to explain the existence of feet in the absence of the knowledge of the existence of Tony.

— Tim Minchin

There are children in Africa, starving to death, and you don't hear them whinging.

— Tim Minchin

To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.

— Tim Minchin

Love without evidence is stalking.

— Tim Minchin

It's an incredibly exciting thing, this one meaningless life of yours

— Tim Minchin

The day they discover yoga mats are carcinogenic will be the happiest day of my life.

— Tim Minchin

Throughout history, every mystery ever solved has turned out to be NOT magic..

— Tim Minchin

If I had a religion, its deity would be Audysseus, the sound God, and He would be a vengeful god, dishing out eternal damnation to people with cheap stage monitors.

— Tim Minchin

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