Stan Freberg Quotes

“You have to prove that the Freberg way will sell their product better than if they just did straight advertising. Whenever I give a lecture or seminar, that's what I try to get across to people. I hear very few radio commercials that sound like I could have written them or that they got the idea.”

— Stan Freberg

“Who are taking to the witch burning Saturday night?”

— Stan Freberg

“The story of Little Blue Riding Hood is true. Only the color has been changed to prevent an investigation.”

— Stan Freberg

“The decision as to what's funny and what is not funny shall rest solely with Mr. Freberg.”

— Stan Freberg

“I had a scholarship to Stanford because I won three California Speech tournaments. Before I started Stanford, I told my mother I wanted to take a bus into Hollywood and see if I could get an agent.”

— Stan Freberg

“When he was a little kid, he was a fat, spoiled kid. I can tell the type.”

— Stan Freberg

“I trained my son to be a puppeteer since he was a little boy.”

— Stan Freberg

“People are amazed to see that I wrote all the words and music myself to 'Stan Freberg Presents The United States Of America.'”

— Stan Freberg

A lot of television stuff is mean-spirited, and I think that's how political advertising got so mean-spirited, to where people are throwing things at the television set every time we have an election.

— Stan Freberg

“I believe all of my talents come from the Lord. All of my talents are God-given - that's how I was able to write music without any professional musical training.”

— Stan Freberg

“I was turning down cigarette campaigns before it became fashionable. I wouldn't let CBS Radio sell 'The Stan Freberg Show' to R.J. Reynolds and American Tobacco, which had sponsored Jack Benny, the man I replaced.”

— Stan Freberg

If you don't like an ad, why should anybody else? ... We're all consumers ... That's why I always create commercials for myself first of all. I am the consumer I know best. If I think it's a great commercial, I figure the rest of the people might think so, too. I haven't been wrong so far.

— Stan Freberg

“Most folks call them green onions, but
they're really scallions.”

— Stan Freberg

“Black is a great color!!! it sets off your wig!”

— Stan Freberg

“Well, we're all a little hostile every now and then, some of us are able to sublimate, others of us can't adjust. You know how it is ...”

— Stan Freberg

“All women are troublemakers who take the money their husbands need desperately for a new and better speaker, and selfishly squander it on things like shoes for the children, homogenized milk, or perhaps A SECOND DRESS!”

— Stan Freberg

“You can make sounds and music out of pretty much anything with a little imagination and putting your mind to it!”

— Stan Freberg