Russell Howard Quotes

Enjoy the top 24 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Russell Howard.

Russell Howard Quotes

Inner child, what do you suggest? I WANT A TREEHOUSE! Anything else to add? FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!
— Russell Howard —

Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!'

— Russell Howard

Music's the best thing we do as humans, isn't it? Music, I mean you flail your limbs, make you move in a way you don't understand. Or it can make you weep like a sailor's wife staring at a storm.

— Russell Howard

The Bible says gays arent natural.
What, and a talking snake is?!

— Russell Howard

From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster!

— Russell Howard

Kids did really well in their A levels, how do we respond? 'A Levels are getting easier, in my day you had to do fifty questions in a minute, if you got one wrong, they killed your dad!

— Russell Howard

I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It's like a child dizzy off lemonade

— Russell Howard

Some people in England only have their wheelie bins collected once a fortnight. Their suffering is unimaginable.

— Russell Howard

Have you ever thought about letting Cheesus into your Life?

— Russell Howard

This bloke was so pissed, he thought his vomit had come to life!

— Russell Howard

She's 80 my nan, what do you want for your birthday? "SHREDDER!! GET ME A SHREDDER!!", what do you want a shredder for? "IDENTITY THEFT!!".

— Russell Howard

I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb.

— Russell Howard

With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: 'He looked really well in that final video.' I was, like: 'No, he didn't - he looked like someone had melted goat's cheese over a sex doll.'

— Russell Howard

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