Roddy Piper Quotes

“I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum.”

— Roddy Piper

“Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions.”

— Roddy Piper

“Sooner or later, everybody pays the Piper!”

— Roddy Piper

“I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me.”

— Roddy Piper

“You'll find sympathy in the dictionary between sh*t and suicide.”

— Roddy Piper

I walk so fast, I talk so fast, I could turn the light off and be in bed before the room's dark.

— Roddy Piper

You don't throw rocks at a man with a machine gun!

— Roddy Piper

I'm the reason Hulk Hogan lost his hair.

— Roddy Piper

“I don't need to know how tough I am to know how tough I am.”

— Roddy Piper

I was pissin' Vince McMahon off when the red on the back of your neck was diaper rash!

— Roddy Piper

“My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone new.”

— Roddy Piper

“Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?”

— Roddy Piper

“Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margerine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!”

— Roddy Piper

“My business in the beginning was very lawless and the more trouble I go into, the more the promoters liked me back then. I was on the front page for doing something wrong, the arena was full. Then, all of a sudden, everything changed somehow and they put rules in. You put rules in a gunfight? I'm not so good at following those rules. I don't' know what will happen at WrestleMania.”

— Roddy Piper

“He mighta spent a couple years under the arena training young wrestlers ...”

— Roddy Piper

“I think that I just wasn't brought up under any rules, and I think that made me a little different and people wanted to look up to that or aspire to that, and that makes me very grateful.”

— Roddy Piper

“Aww, whats the problem, gertrude? You mean to tell me that you can't walk into a bar with a $100 bill on your forehead and walk with anything, either male or female?”

— Roddy Piper

Did your parents build knows you a swing facing a wall when you were a kid?

— Roddy Piper

Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper.

— Roddy Piper

Rowdy Roddy cut his locks; but don't worry woman, he's still a fox.

— Roddy Piper

“Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running.”

— Roddy Piper

“Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling.”

— Roddy Piper

“Nature Boy, whats that? Do you run around the forest like Euell Gibbons, eating bark or something?”

— Roddy Piper

Do you know you couldn't get a date with a $20 bill taped to your forehead?

— Roddy Piper

“Does the tounge hanging out help his balance?”

— Roddy Piper

He's as strong as an ox ... and ALMOST as smart!

— Roddy Piper

“I like the fact that I can go away and lose myself so I don't have to live in the world of courage that everyone else does. I like creating, it's what I do, and acting allows me to stretch all those different muscles in all kinds of ways. That's pretty cool.”

— Roddy Piper

Fighting is not internal, but it can be very spiritual. Everything acting is internal. One of my problems in making the transition is pulling back, but I'm working on it.

— Roddy Piper

“Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling.”

— Roddy Piper

“I never envisioned myself being a film star at all. Most people know that pro wrestling is a little bit of an accident for me. I never really had any real aspirations of being in front of a camera.”

— Roddy Piper

“Wrestling and acting couldn't be anymore different in terms of what it takes to entertain. Wrestling is explosion, acting is implosion. One really screws up the other.”

— Roddy Piper