Molly Harper Quotes

Enjoy the top 245 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Molly Harper.

Molly Harper Quotes

If he does it again, you have my permission to break his legs and arms and make him believe hes a rodeo clown from Walla Walla," I promised. "We can make him call himself Slappy the Wonder Clown.
— Molly Harper —

It felt like life had thrown a pie right in my face. And that pie was full of bricks.

— Molly Harper

Johnny Cash had all of the same talents and problems as Elvis - a poor upbringing in the rural South exposure to gospel music throughout his childhood a penchant for drug abuse ... they had the same sort of influencing experiences but Johnny' Cash's problematic relationship was with his father not his mother. If he had had the mommy issues that Elvis had instead of a compelling need to prove himself to his father, he wouldn't have been the badass man in black, the guy in Folsom Prison watching the train roll by. Elvis was a lot of things but even with the karate and the gunplay he was more unstable than badass.

— Molly Harper

And challenging your neighborhood to a round of competitive outdoor decorating. Because you're not really celebrating the birth of Jesus unless your house can be spotted by passing aircraft.

— Molly Harper

My color schemes were limited to what would go with the pewter-gray gown ... except for the bridesmaids' gowns. I'd already decided that they were going to be a distinctly nonmatchy lemon yellow that Jolene's aunt Vonnie would have to special-order. The kind of yellow one would find on takeout menus or particularly urgent Post-it notes.
In fact, if the outdoor lighting failed, we could use the color of their dresses to illuminate the ceremony.
And yes, i had to use a vendor who hated me, because Vonnie held the only pattern left in the continental United States for the "Ruffle and Dreams," the very dress I'd had to wear in Jolene's wedding. Revenge would would be mine, for a few months, until i revealed the dove-gray bridesmaids' dresses i actually planned for them to wear.

— Molly Harper

She was the type of librarian who has "Reading is supposed to be educational, not fun" tattooed somewhere.

— Molly Harper

I supplied in a tone so saccharine that it should have tipped him off that his testicular health was in serious peril.

— Molly Harper

You told Zeb before you told us?" Mama shouted.
Oh, crap. "How could you do that?" Mama cried. "We're your family!"
"He found out the night I rose, " I said. "But no one else knows. Except for some of the vampires I've met. And Andrea, a girl who hangs out with a lot of vampires. Oh, and Jolene, Zeb's fiance. "
"Zeb's getting married? Before you?"
Double crap.

— Molly Harper

Why not? If you're not going to let me see you naked, we might as well be girlfriends."
"You're a twisted little man."
"Come on, Stretch, share with the class."
"No!" I laughed.
"Prude."
"Perv."
"Schoolmarm."
"Some other word that essentially means perv.

— Molly Harper

It took me a second to figure out how to read Wade's neat handwriting backward, but I eventually read, I had sex in a death barn, and all I got was this temporary tattoo.

— Molly Harper

You've got sex hair ... or crazy cat lady hair. They're remarkably similar.

— Molly Harper

For once in my life, I was going to get through a situation with a little dignity. OK, I probably wasn't, but I would fake it as if my life depended on it.

— Molly Harper

If anything happened to you, I don't know what I would do." I lifted my head to eye him warily. "You're not going to do something weird with my dryer lint, are you?" "I never know what is going to come out of your mouth," he said, staring at me. "I enjoy that, in a morbid way.

— Molly Harper

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