Mimi Jean Pamfiloff Quotes

“He shoved the phone at her again. "What does this do?" Hand shaking, she took it from him. "Um. It's called a Smartphone. You can talk to people or send messages. It's got Internet too." She pointed to a collection of funny looking symbols on the glossy surface. Inter-net. Is that used for some sort of fishing? And why is the phone called smart? Were prior ones stupid?”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Come, my handsome vampire. I have a few things I must do to prepare you. Then I'll put you somewhere safe to await your bride. Oh-I know!" She clapped excitedly. "You can stay inside my piggy bank! And I'll create a drama-tastic jungle intro to your lady! How about Romancing the Stone meets Apocalypto?”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

You may rely on it," he (Tommasso) said with that exotic accent.
"Sorry, I don't speak Magic 8-Ball.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

If you love her, set her free. If she comes back, she's yours. If she doesn't ... Christ! Stubborn woman! Hunt her down, and bring her the hell back; she's still yours according to vampire law.
- Niccolo DiConti, General of the Vampire Queen's Army.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Andrus turned the engine and gave her a suspicious look. "You smell like ... " He shifted into drive. "What?" "Nothing, but-did something happen inside?" Could he really smell ... that? He crinkled his nose. "Your face is red and your scent is ... " Oh, God. He can! Kill me now! Giant bomb, falling tree, spontaneous combustion ... anything!”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Oh, for God's sake, Roen! Stop with the Superman crap!"
"Not Superman. Mer. Man ... Superman is fictional. Mermen are real.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Okay. Good point." He's very honest. I should ask how he is in bed. She slapped her hands over her mouth. "I didn't just say that out loud again, did I?"
"Yes, you did.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Hey, I've been alive for a very, very long time. Boring," she sang out. "Gotta do something for kicks, and a good apocalypse every now and then fills the cracks. It's like the Super Bowl for us gods ... but without the beer and everyone could die. Fun, right?”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Yes, a proud, proud moment in my life. If only that could go on my Facebook timeline!”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Becoming leader of this place had been his calling, but Liv had been his destiny.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

What the hell?" Helena objected. "And would someone please flick a Bic or rub two sticks together? I want to die knowing exactly what killed me.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Is there any spot on his body that isn't hard? Tonsils? Kidneys? Oh! His tongue ... silky little devil.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“You want to leave the queen's employ?" He nodded with an uncompromising stare. "Complicated. Unprecedented. Perfectly insane ... I'm in!”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

I happen to be partial to humans - most, anyway. Clowns, not so much. Those evil bastards never stop smiling.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Oh. Come on! I left my backpack on the bus. According to Darwin, you're a prime candidate for extinction. Too stupid to live!”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

There were certain elements of the human world that where out of their control: war, inflation, American Idol ... all things which could cause major irritation to a vampire's daily life.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“I think," she said, "that you are possibly the most misjudged man I've ever met."
He laughed. "Really now? Why's that?"
"Because your face is the least beautiful thing about you.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“For darn certain, that other sensation (which she was not going to think about) was her body telling her the time had come to give away that virginity of hers-just like those size seven jeans in the back of her closet. How unkind to keep something someone else could put to good use. Greedy, greedy girl.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“A tick of amusement flashed in Tomas' eyes. "I can see you are not quite comfortable with leaving your quarters just yet, so may I order you some food?" Helena lifted her chin. She was determined to bury her fear, and that included her wobbly knees that seemed to recognize she was talking to a lion who, under normal circumstances, viewed her as a tasty gazelle. "Sausage Pizza and ... Dr. Pepper." Tomas stared for several moments, fear filling his eyes. "I am certain we can find you a pizza, but I was not aware you are ill and require a doctor. Niccolo will have my head." This was going to be a very, very long day.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Cimil's eyes lit. "The Niccolo DiConti? What an honor!" Niccolo stood a little taller then. "Yes, I seek your assistance." Cimil rolled her eyes. "Well, no duh. You didn't abandon your queen's side, risking her wrath, to see me in my fabulous birthday suit.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Helena abruptly stopped, cursing herself for deciding to go on this stupid trip to the ruins. If only she'd stayed at the hotel with her friends, none of this would've happened. Now her life was basically over; she'd end up dinner or a prisoner of some deranged nudist vampire.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

I think it's because when I look at you, I see us. and we're beautiful together.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“In that moment, lying there on the floor in agony, he realized that was why his feelings for Liv had so drastically changed. Earlier, she had actually gotten up and attacked one of the men, trying to protect him. Him. A complete bastard who never did anything for anyone.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Stop staring at my fucking ass. You're too young for me.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Niccolo released a quick breath. "Will you assist me or not?" he said. "Sure, my little cupcake of despair. Now, normally I charge $12.99 plus shipping and handling, but in this case I'll cut you a deal.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Kiss me, woman. I command you, the voice echoed, this time compelling her to obey. Helena's survival instincts gave her a hard kick, jarring her back into the horrific reality of the situation. But as she tried to regain control of her body, her tongue slipped from her mouth and wet her lips. Traitorous tongue. Backstabbing lips. What the hell are you doing?”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“She had to get a hold of herself. She had to run. Did she have a chance of making it out alive? Something told her "no." Definitely no. The chamber exit, a narrow doorway, led to an even narrower passage that would dump her back into the dark jungle. She wouldn't make it two feet before he barreled down on her with those powerful thighs. Yes, powerful thighs. Ummm. She ground her palm into her forehead. Tramp! Get a hold of yourself.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Helena, my love," she heard a deep voice whisper from behind. Helena gasped and held on tight to that breath. Jeans clutched to her chest, she turned slowly toward the voice. There was no one there. "It's official. I'm obsessed.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Oh God, now she couldn't remember why she'd ever left him. She needed him. More than air or sunlight and beaches, definitely more than garlic.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“And watch your tongue. I happen to be partial to humans - most, anyway. Clowns, not so much. Those evil bastards never stop smiling."
Niccolo didn't know what these "clowns" were, but he made a mental not to stay away if he ever encountered one. Sounded unpleasant.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“I get that you have a huge ego and probably don't want to admit you're a disgusting, shallow bastard, but don't hide behind a doctor's note.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“There is new information."
"Are you going to share it?"
"No."
Of course not. Because it would totally ruin his whole mysterious vibe. Can't have that.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

You have to believe you deserve the things you want and expect them to happen. Then you need the determination to see them through despite the obstacles.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“I don't know, maybe it has something to do with you telling me I found the love of my life and now I have to die to save him. Could”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

We fight every step of the godsdamned way, every godsdamned moment, for every godsdamned inch. We never give up. We never given in. Complacency is the devil if there was a devil. Which there is not. There's

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“A towering mass of lust-provoking maleness.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

You don't think it makes my breasts look like a tiny butt?

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Your body is a piece of fucking art, but that doesn't mean you can use it to get what you want.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Where the hell are you, Cimil?"
"Popping tags with Roberto," she replied.
"Popping what?" he asked.
Cimil growled. "You shame Macklemore - I'm at a thrift store. Where else would a goddess find a microwave for her potpie and a new pair of pink hot pants? And a Lee Majors doll! Score!”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“I am the man who is going to collect your soul and fuck your woman. Not necessarily in that order, but both will involve screaming.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“I hate that for a few hours I got a taste of a damned happy new life; then you snatched it all away. But”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Now if you'll excuse me, real life is calling and there's no room for self-righteous, delusional little girls. Big boys only.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“I couldn't have been the first woman to hate him and want him.
And hate him some more.
After wanting him just a little more.
And feeling disgusted with myself for it.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

It was funny-this man, or whatever he was, spoke with the naivety of child and the authority of a king. He was kind of sweet but a total a-hole at the same time. It was a strange combination.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“I saw right through that rapturous smile. He was a cruel, sadistic son of a bitch.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Closed my eyes for a quick nap. A huge fucking”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Yes, and they'll pay. I promise. But you can't throw away your life, suffering for those who are no longer with you. You have to move on, my sweet. Leave the revenge to me. It is what I am good at.

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“I mentally picked myself up off the floor, dusted the dirt from my poor, emotionally battered ego, and began talking myself to a better place.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Ironically, I remember that not even the pretty girls were exempt from this sick breed of torment. And if they couldn't escape it, what about me?”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“When it comes to your looks, the only option in this world that matters is yours.”

— Mimi Jean Pamfiloff