Lewis Grizzard Quotes

Enjoy the top 42 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Lewis Grizzard.

Lewis Grizzard Quotes

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
— Lewis Grizzard —

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.

— Lewis Grizzard

The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.

— Lewis Grizzard

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

— Lewis Grizzard

On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.

— Lewis Grizzard

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

— Lewis Grizzard

The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wiggle out of one.

— Lewis Grizzard

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

— Lewis Grizzard

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

— Lewis Grizzard

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

— Lewis Grizzard

Show business is my life.

— Lewis Grizzard

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

— Lewis Grizzard

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

— Lewis Grizzard

There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.

— Lewis Grizzard

They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.

— Lewis Grizzard

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