Jasper Carrott Quotes

Enjoy the top 23 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Jasper Carrott.

Jasper Carrott Quotes

I am amazed at radio DJs today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.
— Jasper Carrott —

Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.

— Jasper Carrott

I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.

— Jasper Carrott

I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.

— Jasper Carrott

Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.

— Jasper Carrott

My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That's provided he hadn't died of a heart attack by then.

— Jasper Carrott

I've played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit.

— Jasper Carrott

They put up this bloke's picture on Crimewatch UK with a phone number and said 'Have you seen this man?' Well my auntie rang them up and said 'No'.

— Jasper Carrott

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