J. B. Smoove Quotes

Enjoy the top 106 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by J. B. Smoove.

J. B. Smoove Quotes

Women put guys through tests all the time.
— J. B. Smoove —

When you're babysitting a kid, all you're seeing is a version of them, a small dosage.

— J. B. Smoove

I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat.

— J. B. Smoove

It's an ongoing joke that a black man is always the first one to get killed in movies.

— J. B. Smoove

I wish black people had a flag they could put into the ground, like when the troops stormed Iwo Jima.

— J. B. Smoove

True Yankees fans know an up-and-coming player when they see one.

— J. B. Smoove

I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and a writer at 'SNL,' I tell people that everything you do is all a piece of your puzzle to determine where you're going to end up at.

— J. B. Smoove

Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids, and I can get into the mind of a kid. In my brain, I consider myself the ultimate video game player. The ultimate snack maker.

— J. B. Smoove

Sometimes you can make friends, and sometimes you can take friends. Sometimes people want to be friends with you, and you gotta be like, 'Okay, I can deal with this person's personality and be their friend, but not necessarily do I have to change who I am. I'm not gonna change myself to be their friend.'

— J. B. Smoove

When I first started doing comedy years ago, I used to be the biggest Michael Richards fan. I used to love this dude. He was on a TV show called 'Fridays,' and man, he was tall and lanky - and I was tall and lanky. I love physical comedy, and he was a physical comedian, and I said, 'Man, I love this guy.'

— J. B. Smoove

I may even show up behind the camera. I love to put things together; I love to give direction. I have a great eye for pace.

— J. B. Smoove

I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same time, I'm still being J. B. Smoove. I'm not changing up my style, I'm not changing up how I think, what's funny to me, my delivery, the way I carry myself.

— J. B. Smoove

I loved Peter Sellers. I thought he was the perfect mix of physical comedy with out-of-the-box humor. I loved his tone; I loved his physicality; I loved everything about what he was doing as a comedic actor.

— J. B. Smoove

You can't let people take advantage of you. Go get that ass.

— J. B. Smoove

There're rules to being the side chick. Rule number one: you're number two.

— J. B. Smoove

I could never live with you; not 'cause I'm racist or nothing. It's just 'cause as a black man in America, I need to have someone I can come home and complain about white people to. And that just don't work with my white wife.

— J. B. Smoove

I most resemble Benjamin Button. I evolve. I attach myself to the heartbeat of whatever is going on at that particular time, or I just chart a new path.

— J. B. Smoove

You have to fail, man, but you cannot allow failure to stop you from doing what you must do. Failing is just as good as succeeding in a lot of ways. It's how you react to it all. You can react to success the wrong way and be a total failure. Or you can react to losing with your whole heart, learn from it, and be a huge success. In stand-up, I've learned to know when I'm burning it up or when I'm being so-so. That's experience. I learn every single time I'm on a stage.

— J. B. Smoove

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