Harriet Lerner Quotes

Enjoy the top 84 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Harriet Lerner.

Harriet Lerner Quotes

Being who we are requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship.
— Harriet Lerner —

If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.

— Harriet Lerner

Wherever you find a wife and mother-in-law slugging it out, you'll find a son who's not speaking up to either his mother or his wife.

— Harriet Lerner

The rush of sexual attraction can act like a drug and blur our capacity for clear thinking. This can lead us to distance ourselves from our friends or even abandon our life plan for someone who couldn't otherwise be relied on to water our plants and feed our cat.

— Harriet Lerner

Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to stop trying to be helpful.

— Harriet Lerner

Many people value criticism in the early stage of a relationship, but become allergic to it over time. Remember this: No one can survive in a marriage (at least not happily) if they feel more judged than admired. Your partner won't make use of your constructive criticism if there's not a surrounding climate of admiration and respect.

— Harriet Lerner

As long as we can feel hope, there is hope.

— Harriet Lerner

While women once acquired relationship skills to "hook," "snare," or "catch" a husband who would provide access to economic security and social status, the position of contemporary women has not changed that radically. Much of our success still depends on our attunement to "male culture," our ability to please men, and our readiness to conform to the masculine values of our institutions.

— Harriet Lerner

The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.

— Harriet Lerner

The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.

— Harriet Lerner

Judging people for whom they love (a same sex partner) rather than by whom they harm, should in itself merit a psychiatric diagnosis.

— Harriet Lerner

Throughout evolutionary history, anxiety and fear have helped every species to be wary and to survive. Fear can signal us to act, or, alternatively, to resist the impulse to act. It can help us to make wise, self-protective choices in and out of relationships where we might otherwise sail mindlessly along, ignoring signs of trouble.

— Harriet Lerner

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