George S. Kaufman Quotes

Enjoy the top 18 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by George S. Kaufman.

George S. Kaufman Quotes

The kind of doctor I want is one who when hes not examining me is home studying medicine.
— George S. Kaufman —

(Popular singer Eddie Fisher, appearing on This is Show Business, told Kaufman that women refused to date him because he looked so young.)
Mr. Fisher, on Mount Wilson there is a telescope that can magnify the most distant stars up to twenty-four times the magnification of any previous telescope. This remarkable instrument was unsurpassed in the world of astronomy until the construction of the Mount Palomar telescope, an even more remarkable instrument of magnification. Owing to advances and improvements in optical technology, it is capable of magnifying the stars to four times the magnification and resolution of the Mount Wilson telescope - Mr. Fisher, if you could somehow put the Mount Wilson telescope inside the Mount Palomar telescope, you still wouldn't be able to detect my interest in your problem.

— George S. Kaufman

When I was born I owed twelve dollars.

— George S. Kaufman

I understand your new play is full of single entendres.

— George S. Kaufman

When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.

— George S. Kaufman

God finally caught his eye.

— George S. Kaufman

There was laughter in the back of the theater, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there.

— George S. Kaufman

Lawyers-they get together all day and say to each other, "What can we postpone next?" The only thing they don't postpone, of course, is their bill, which arrives regularly. You've heard about the man who got the bill from his lawyer which said, "For crossing the street to speak to you and discovering it was not you, twelve dollars."

— George S. Kaufman

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