Garrison Keillor Quotes

Enjoy the top 286 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Garrison Keillor.

Garrison Keillor Quotes

Have interesting failures ... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Dont wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve ... Dont pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for Gods sake.
— Garrison Keillor —

When NASA started sending up astronauts, they discovered that ballpoint pens don't work in zero gravity. So they spent twelve million dollars and more than a decade developing a pen that writes under any condition, on almost every surface. The Russians used a pencil.

— Garrison Keillor

What keeps faith cheerful is the extreme persistence of gentleness and humor. Gentleness is everywhere in daily life, a sign that faith rules through ordinary things: through cooking and small talk, through storytelling, making love, fishing, tending animals and sweet corn and flowers, through sports, music, and books, raising kids-all the places where the gravy soaks in and grace shines through. Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people. Lacking any other purpose in life, it would be good enough to live for their sake.

— Garrison Keillor

You learn this great lesson of life: it's not about me. It's just not. The matter of talent-which seemed so important to you when you were young-is not of great importance. We're simply a conduit. We take things out of the air into us and put them in the form of stories. That's pretty much it.

— Garrison Keillor

I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness ...

— Garrison Keillor

My ancestors were Puritans from England. They arrived here in 1648 in the hope of finding greater restrictions than were permissible under English law at that time.

— Garrison Keillor

People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.

— Garrison Keillor

Have interesting failures ... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve ... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.

— Garrison Keillor

America of the future will be all malls connected by interstates. All because your parents no longer can their own tomatoes.

— Garrison Keillor

Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot.

— Garrison Keillor

Every show is your last show. That's my philosophy.

— Garrison Keillor

She gave him such a look ... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block.

— Garrison Keillor

The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant to be a jazzy people who talk big and jump on the table and dance; we aren't supposed to be dopey and glum and brood over old injuries.

— Garrison Keillor

On investments, 1998: Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see, say, 30 cans of tomato sauce and a five-pound bag of rice, I get a little thrill of well-being - much more so than if I take a look at the quarterly dividend report from my mutual fund.

— Garrison Keillor

Sport is a seductive metaphor (life as a game in which we gain victory through hard work, discipline, and visualizing success). but the older metaphor of farming (life as hard labor that is subject to weather and quirks of blind fate and may return no reward whatsoever and don't be surprised) is still in our blood.

— Garrison Keillor

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