David Walliams Quotes

Enjoy the top 89 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by David Walliams.

David Walliams Quotes

Its important when youre married not to forget those things you used to do when you were trying to get her to marry you. You cant send flowers and buy gifts then, when youre married, say, Right, get my tea on. That doesnt go down well. So youve got to keep that level of interest going.
— David Walliams —

No more watching that show Small England or whatever it's called where those two idiots dress up as 'laydees'. It's a bad influence.

— David Walliams

You can't go on running forever ... " "And you can't go on ... " Alfie desperately searched for the right word, " ... mopedding* forever!

— David Walliams

Zoe also knew her stepmother did not love her. Or even like her very much. In truth, Zoe was pretty sure her stepmother hated her. Sheila treated her at worst as an irritant, at best as if she were invisible.

— David Walliams

Show, Trisha. Dennis had seen a Trisha episode about people with depression, and thought maybe his dad had that. Dennis loved Trisha. It was a daytime talk show where ordinary people were given the opportunity to talk about their problems, or yell abuse at their relatives, and it was all presided over by a kindly looking but judgemental woman conveniently called ... Trisha. For a while Dennis thought life without his mum would be some kind of adventure. He'd stay up late, eat take-aways and watch rude comedy shows. However, as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, and the months turned into years, he realised that it wasn't an adventure at all.

— David Walliams

A Waft of Cheese

— David Walliams

BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB!" The chants grew louder and louder. "BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB!" They started clapping in time now. "BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB! BLOB!

— David Walliams

I was born in 1971, and Tom Baker was sort of my obsession as a kid and that's why we got him to do the voice over for 'Little Britain' because I was actually obsessed with Tom Baker.

— David Walliams

I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll.

— David Walliams

I don't have a lot to share with other men. My heart sinks when I get into a taxi and someone starts talking to me about football.

— David Walliams

It can be difficult to be subtle and not cartoony in prosthetics. But when you see characters like Bubbles and Desiree from 'Little Britain' on screen, it makes all the hard work worth it. It's such fun watching those transformations.

— David Walliams

It's a weird thing because I've been single at the time when I've been successful. That's good and bad. Good, because you meet lots of people, bad because your privacy is infringed, so it's harder to develop things.

— David Walliams

I love wearing drag.

— David Walliams

When I want comfort food, I buy Maltesers. I like all chocolates, but especially those. You can eat them, and because they're so light, you can convince yourself that they are not actually that fattening.

— David Walliams

I was quite fat as a kid. And swimming is a sport you can enjoy whatever size you are. If you're fat, running is a pain. I'm not really built for running.

— David Walliams

The most used piece of kit in my kitchen is my saucepan. I use it every morning to cook my porridge in. The least used piece of equipment? I'd say a food mixer. I've never used it, I don't really know what they're for.

— David Walliams

Ricky Gervais would have you believe otherwise, but Sacha Baron Cohen is the most successful British comedian in the world.

— David Walliams

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