Dave Barry Quotes

Enjoy the top 799 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Dave Barry.

Dave Barry Quotes

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.
— Dave Barry —

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is a cow dropped out of a helicopter.

— Dave Barry

Nobody understands how hard it is, being a captain.

— Dave Barry

Never again will I underestimate the persuasive power of a woman with legal training and big tits.

— Dave Barry

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.

— Dave Barry

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

— Dave Barry

I want a pit crew ... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

— Dave Barry

I actually kind of like Janet Reno. She seems like a nice enough lady. But when you're basically going through the entire phone book trying to find women lawyers who don't have maids to pick the attorney general of the United States, how well can you do?

— Dave Barry

I do not mean to be the slightest bit critical of TV newspeople, who do a superb job, considering that they operate under severe time constraints and have the intellectual depth of hamsters. But TV news can only present the "bare bones" of a story; it takes a newspaper, with its capability to present vast amounts of information, to render the story truly boring.

— Dave Barry

Canada, as you know, is a major important nation boasting a sophisticated, cosmopolitan culture that was tragically destroyed last week by beavers.

— Dave Barry

Dear Hotel People: We don't need a cheeseball clock-radio. WE NEED PLACES TO PLUG STUFF IN. Thank you.

— Dave Barry

If God had wanted us to spend all our time fretting about the problems of home ownership, He would never have created beer. This is not to say that I am recommending that you totally ignore your responsibilities as a homeowner and just sit around all day with a can of beer in your hand. No indeed, I have long been a believer in purchasing bottled beer, and pouring it into a chilled glass.

— Dave Barry

Dave Barry Quotes Pictures

Want to see more pictures of Dave Barry quotes? Click on image of Dave Barry quotes to view full size.

Dave Barry Quotes Pictures 1
Dave Barry Quotes Pictures 2
Dave Barry Quotes Pictures 3
Dave Barry Quotes Pictures 4