Bill Bailey Quotes

Enjoy the top 73 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Bill Bailey.

Bill Bailey Quotes

Tonights show is about doubt. Or maybe it isnt - havent made my mind up yet.
— Bill Bailey —

You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey, the so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing. Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.

— Bill Bailey

The reason we'd stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom. Whoever was charged with making the announcement momentarily lost all sense of procedure and we got this tantalizing glimpse into the chaos on the trains, and all we could hear was (bangs on microphone) "Gary, it's burning, what we gonna do?!" And everyone on the carriage just cheered, "Hooray! We're rubbish!"

— Bill Bailey

Aldous Huxley took the drug mescaline and then chronicled his experience in the book The Doors of Perception. Now, I don't actually think that's the first thing he wrote: he probably wrote 'my brain is melting' ten thousand times, but it was the book that the critics latched on to.

— Bill Bailey

If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.

— Bill Bailey

"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers?

— Bill Bailey

Relaxed Empiricism
I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.

— Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey Quotes Pictures

Want to see more pictures of Bill Bailey quotes? Click on image of Bill Bailey quotes to view full size.

Bill Bailey Quotes Pictures 1
Bill Bailey Quotes Pictures 2
Bill Bailey Quotes Pictures 3
Bill Bailey Quotes Pictures 4