Bauvard Quotes

Enjoy the top 122 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Bauvard.

Bauvard Quotes

If you want to change the world, just change yourself. The world needs traitors.
— Bauvard —

I shed a tear when I meet somebody who always quits. Reliable people are so rare in this world.

— Bauvard

The only way to be completely self-consistent is to be constantly uttering paradoxes.

— Bauvard

Bauvard Quotes: Use condoms its wise not to gamble with
Use condoms; it's wise not to gamble with your children's future.

— Bauvard

Just relax. Everyone around you is working too hard.

— Bauvard

So many things happen that we can't control, its best not to worry about what we can. Believing you can change the world has a terrible effect on one's ego.

— Bauvard

Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks.

— Bauvard

Bauvard Quotes: Spending ones last moments prostrated
Spending one's last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner burden.

— Bauvard

If you want to change the world, just change yourself. The world needs traitors.

— Bauvard

I had a dream about you. You were lost in a daydream, when I walked in and you began screaming. But I know that could never actually happen. In real life I only enter people's nightmares.

— Bauvard

Flatterers should be mistrusted, especially when they praise the dead. To seek a place in society is self-serving, but to seek one in history affects everyone.

— Bauvard

Pure joy is rare. That's why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

— Bauvard

Welcome to Telepathics Anonymous. Don't bother introducing yourself.

— Bauvard

Bauvard Quotes: Liver failure is the easiest way to say
Liver failure is the easiest way to say 'no' to alcohol.

— Bauvard

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

— Bauvard

A man is always devoted to something more tangible than a woman - the idea of her.

— Bauvard

Bauvard Quotes: One never owns a book it sits on your
One never owns a book. It sits on your shelf in a fine edition like a piece of furniture, and you are its admiring ward until it flies off from you in a time of financial hardship. If it is a tattered paperback, she is your casual mistress you use a few times. If you have read it a hundred times then it is your wife, and a source of infinite mystery.

— Bauvard

Every child that receives life advice should keep in mind that in every parent's past, there's leftover booze and contraceptives.

— Bauvard

Seize something wonderful; don't lose your chance waiting for it to become legal.

— Bauvard

Bauvard Quotes: I bet there are a lot of women out there
I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I'm very well endowed.

— Bauvard

Sending love letters to first-graders will teach them lessons in cursive. But writing back will test their commitment.

— Bauvard

The stoic contemplates fallen leaves; the epicure rakes them into a loveseat.

— Bauvard

Somewhere in the background of magnificence lurks the kitchen staff. But a magnificent person only forgets about his origins, never his brunch.

— Bauvard

Bauvard Quotes: Performance enhancements are most
Performance enhancements are most impressive when used by that sedentary athlete, the videogamer. After he turns to hitchhiking in disgrace, his giant thumbs can take him anywhere.

— Bauvard

When it's not enough to veto your children's tendencies, you must in vitro them.

— Bauvard

Bauvard Quotes: Political debate when charlatans come
Political debate: when charlatans come together to discuss their principles.

— Bauvard

Give up your dreams; you'll accomplish more without sleep.

— Bauvard

The amount of educational programming on television today is simply desensitizing. The only reason left to go to school is to see gun violence.

— Bauvard

Rioter: a person who wants dinner, and needs a TV to eat it with.

— Bauvard

Bauvard Quotes: I hope people of the future will
I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy.

— Bauvard

Experience: the vehicle of history. Teenagers: the driving force behind fatal accidents.

— Bauvard

When cultivating your garden, keep the soil healthy with encroachers. The most redolent flowers grow over graves.

— Bauvard

Bauvard Quotes: Moderation a median with no means
Moderation: a median with no means, praised by those with no misfortunes, practiced by those with no merits.

— Bauvard

Hypocrisy is a quality found in others. I am an optimist. I believe that saying the right thing will eventually cause people to do the right thing for me.

— Bauvard

What is the world coming to when girls allow their hands to be kissed without gloves? That young people don't use proper protection these days is exactly why there are always so many colds going around.

— Bauvard

When a person encounters his own statue and takes a hammer to it, performance art adds depth to greatness.

— Bauvard

Religious fasting is the best way to cure an anorexic's spirit: in heaven her condition will be normal.

— Bauvard

Bauvard Quotes: Its best to only exercise when the air
It's best to only exercise when the air conditioning is working properly outside. A strong wind ensures one doesn't sweat very much.

— Bauvard

Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?

— Bauvard

Bauvard Quotes: I happen to find ceilings much lovelier
I happen to find ceilings much lovelier than the night sky myself. Sometimes I just stare at them for hours and wonder what could be up there.

— Bauvard

As a captain whose vessel is about to crash on the rocks empties its souls of doubt, so are the hesitant useful for throwing off of an enterprise nearing its end: blame must be cast in failure, profits divided easily in success.

— Bauvard

Bauvard Quotes: The smaller the dinner table the better
The smaller the dinner table, the better the side conversation: you can gossip about the guests without fearing whether you will be overheard. It just isn't good table manners to exclude someone from their own ridicule. That's why the juiciest side conversations occur at a table for one.

— Bauvard

A hobby is labor disguising itself as leisure. It is extremely destructive to the boundaries of private life.

— Bauvard

Bauvard Quotes: When you dont hold your pipe with the
When you don't hold your pipe with the proper poise, smoking is very hazardous for your image.

— Bauvard

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